World Wrestling Entertainment Presents
by Discarnate
Summary: Two new Divas join the RAW roster and are immediately thrust into a Big Brotherstyle promotion. What happens next, and will the relationships they make in the house carry forward into the ring? Matt HardyOC Jeff HardyOC. Rated to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's_ note: _Hello, children. This is my first wrestling fic, complete with blatant self insertion. It's not meant to be taken seriously, this is just a piece of fun I just started to write primarily for myself and my sister. Having said that, please feel free to leave a comment. Flamers welcomed as we haven't had our winter fuel allowance yet and it's kinda cold outside. _

_This is just a short chapter to introduce the two main characters, and my first chapters ALWAYS suck. It'll get better after this. How could it not? It's got wrestlers in it! Also, this is my world, and the wrestlers have just been kidnapped to suit my own purposes. I'll return them in one piece when I'm done, although I can't vouch for their mental state. Also, if you read and decide you want to MST it, drop me a line and let me know, because I love a good MST. Yay, sarcasm!_

_Disclaimer: Nope, not mine, although I wish it were so. Characters (apart from Ellister and Kit) and some storylines hijacked from World Wrestling Entertainment. I am making no money from this venture. Please do not sue, as I have become quite attached to the lint lining my pockets. _

_Blimey, this note is almost longer than the first chapter. Still with me? Read on! _

_-Ellister_

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"Well I think that covers everything. If you ladies would just like to sign on the dotted line?" I glanced over at my soul-sister Kit, barely able to suppress a grin. Finally, after months of intensive training and hard work, we were about to fulfil our dream of becoming Divas for World Wrestling Entertainment. The Chairman, Vince McMahon, leaned back in his chair with his hands behind his head as we hastily scribbled our signatures on the contract that would tie us to the WWE for at least the next twelve months, and a review in six months with a view to extending our contracts if we did well. We would initially be starting on RAW, but as Mr McMahon said we could get transferred at any time.

It had been a pure stroke of luck that we had been spotted. I'd moved to Ohio to be with Kit a little over a year ago, and by sheer force of determination we'd started wrestling on the local indy circuit. We quickly built a following, Kit thanks to her high-flying devil-may-care antics, and me thanks to my inner British pigheadedness and sheer unwillingness to give up even when I was well and truly beaten. A scout had spotted our last match on the circuit, where we'd faced each other for the women's title. Kit had beaten me, just, and our match had gone on for almost an hour. We were approached by the scout after the show, he'd set up a meeting with Mr McMahon, and now barely three weeks later here we were penning a deal with the biggest name in wrestling. It was insane.

We handed the signed contracts back to Mr McMahon and shared a grin as he glanced over them and placed them in a folder. I glanced over at the brunette next to me, who had gone stock-still and I guessed she was, like me, one second away from spazzing out completely. Mr McMahon clasped his hands together and leaned forwards, fixing us with a stern look.

"Welcome to World Wrestling Entertainment. I have decided that your debut shall be put back for six weeks. This is because," he added, as we both started to protest, "that we are going to be running a feature during that time. I'm sure you've seen the advertising campaign for WWE Big Brother?" he asked and we nodded our agreement. We had been looking forward to it and had wasted numerous hours debating which Superstars would be chosen. "It is my intention that you two enter the Big Brother house. It will help you integrate yourselves with the other Superstars, and any friendships, alliances and enemies you make during that time will carry forwards into the ring in future. It will also give the public time to get to know you, as we haven't had the time to put together a formal introduction video. Any questions?"

"Yes. King Booker's not in Big Brother, is he?" asked Kit with an ugly look on her face. "Because I swear if he comes within a five mile radius…"

"No. He was not one of those chosen," replied Mr McMahon with a smile.

"Oh… Well if Chris Masters comes within a five mile radius…"

"I would thank you not to kill any of my Superstars before you get chance to debut," smirked Mr McMahon as he checked his watch. "I have to go to lunch now. Be back here tomorrow morning and you can begin your training." With that he nodded once and swept out of the office. Kit and I exchanged looks and as soon as the door had banged shut behind the Chairman we squealed and hugged each other.

"I can't believe it! We actually did it!" I yelled, squeezing Kit tight.

"I know… we did it… they thought I couldn't do it but I did it! We did it, Elli!" Kit squealed as she squeezed me back. "I wish we were starting a bit sooner than six weeks though…"

"Yeah, I mean, Big Brother?" I asked with a grimace. "If Chris Masters is also in that house, I can't see it ending well."

"Yeah. For him," she muttered with a dark glare at the door, as if expecting Masters to materialise in front of her. "I swear if that flabby butt comes anywhere near me I will kick it so hard…"

"You really don't like his butt, do you?" I asked with a smirk.

"It's horrible! It's all flabby and it wobbles!" She shuddered and I laughed.

"Better hope for his sake he's not chosen then," I sniggered, and stared at the wall, my mind filled with a delicious daydream about my future career.


	2. Chapter 2

-1_Author's note: Hiya, second chapter, hopefully much better than the last with actual wrestlers actually involved this time. Aren't you lucky? Updates will be sporadic, because I have this thing called a life that unhappily likes to interfere with my writing time, and my brain doesn't help matters by blocking itself just when I want to write. But they will happen so, if you like the fic, keep checking back. I'm aiming for at least one update a week. And if you really like, you can always leave me a comment! Whee! And if you hate it, still leave me a comment, because I like to know when I'm pissing people off. _

_That's all for now. See you next update. _

_-Ellister_

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_**Day One in the Big Brother House**_

In the week running up to Big Brother we were kept as hidden as possible, training in private and rooming separately to the other wrestlers, presumably to ensure that we didn't get to know anybody prior to going into the house, and all the fans were told, in newsflashes on RAW, SmackDown and the WWE website, was that two new Divas would be making their entrances in the house. The day after we signed our contracts we discussed ring names - Kit was going to be Kitten, naturally, with Falling Apart by Zebrahead as her entrance theme, and after much deliberation I decided to go with my friend Kelby's nickname for me, Ellister, with In Your Face by Children of Bodom as my entrance theme. It was all very exciting, and Kit and I couldn't wait to actually get into the house and see who we would have to put up with for a maximum of six weeks.

On the day we were separated and taken to the hotel that the wrestlers who were evicted from the house would be staying at for the duration of the feature. Our arrivals were staggered to avoid the Superstars running into each other, as the whole idea was that no-one knew who had been chosen until they actually got into the house. And once at the hotel we were under strict instructions not to leave our rooms until a minder came to escort us to the house. I didn't mind though; as it was I barely had time to get ready before someone rapped on the door. I was dressed in black flared cords, a green one-shoulder tank top with a silver dragon on it, a long sleeve mesh hoodie and a big metal bullet belt, with my black-with-blonde-tips hair done loose and straightened flat. I finished my preparations by putting on some lip gloss, smiled at my reflection, and silently wished myself luck.

I gathered up my case and wrenched the door open. A gruff man all in black announced he was to be my escort and I followed him down the corridor, into the lift, through the lobby and to a gleaming black limo waiting outside. My stomach was doing nervous flips as I sat down and I felt slightly dizzy, slightly sick and short of breath. Being a WWE fan for a long time, I was incredibly conscious of the fact that I could meet one of my idols, Undertaker, and if that happened I would hardly be able to control a fangirl spaz-out. Live. On television. In front of millions of viewers. Which wouldn't be good for my reputation.

It was only a short drive to the Big Brother House, and I didn't get time to be nervous as I stepped out of the limo. Fans were cheering, light bulbs were going off into my face, and before I could get my bearings Todd Grisham had grabbed me by the arm and led me out into the space in the middle of the crowd for a quick interview.

"Here she is, this is Ellister!" he was saying. "Now Ellister, I understand you're a new Diva?"

"That's right," I replied lamely, unable to think of anything at present as my mind seemed to have gone on a last-minute holiday.

"How are you feeling?" he asked and I gaped dumbly at him for a moment before forcing a smile and forcing my vocal chords to work.

"Bit nervous." I grinned and tucked my hair behind my ears.

"What are you hoping to achieve in the Big Brother house?" Enough with the questions! my mind screamed at him. I just wanted to get out of there, and I couldn't think with a camera shoved right in my face.

"I'm hoping to make some friends, maybe get some practise at kicking some arse, and most importantly, not get voted out first," I replied in a miserable attempt to be witty, although whether Todd was laughing at the actual words or the fact that it was so lame I had no idea.

"That's great Ellister!" He led me to the top of the big steel doors that separated the Big Brother house from the rest of the world. "Are you ready?"

"Sure. Let's do this thing," I said with a nervous grin. My entrance music started to play and I felt a jolt of excitement as the doors slid back. I looked back to wave at the fans, who were cheering, and then started off down the stairs, my heart hammering painfully in my chest.

I took a deep breath as I reached the heavy double doors at the bottom of the stairs, and pushed them open. The wrestlers already in the room stopped talking and turned to stare at me and I paused momentarily as I took in who was there. Ashley, Batista, Brian Kendrick, Candice, Chris Masters, Carlito and Edge were stood around. I smiled and waved uncertainly. Ashley was the first to react.

"Oh hi! You must be one of the new Divas!" she said excitedly and hurried over to me to give me a hug.

"That's right. I'm Ellister."

"Let me introduce you to everybody!" I smiled politely as I was dragged over to the others and shook hands with them all. Chris Masters had a gleeful sort of look in his eye and raised my hand to his lips as he took it. I suppressed a shudder and the urge to kick him in the nuts and quickly turned to Edge, who was stood with his arms folded and a cocky smile firmly in place.

"So, Ellister," he said with a smirk. "Do you have a soul? Or do you have to earn it by sacrificing Christian babies?"

"Nah, not just Christian babies, any babies will do, preferably first born," I replied with a grin. "It doesn't necessarily have to be babies either," I added with a pointed look in his direction. "In fact Superstars' souls are worth about fifteen hundred babies', so watch your back." Batista sniggered and clapped his hand on my shoulder.

"I like you!" he said, as Edge gave me an appraising look. Ashley laughed and grabbed hold of my arm.

"Let me show you around!" she said excitedly. We went through to the girl's bedroom where I claimed my bed and dumped my case, and then she showed me the Diary Room, the indoor gym complete with a wrestling ring, the huge kitchen, the conservatory which housed a spa pool and the garden, which had fairy lights strung up along the imposingly high walls, which were topped with barbed wire, and right at the end was a chicken coop. There was one chicken that was staring dazedly at the wire and kept trying to peck it, and I sniggered and mentally named it Masters.

When we got back inside some more Superstars had shown up. Gregory Helms, Hunter, JBL, Jeff Hardy, John Cena and Johnny Nitro were milling about. Hunter and Edge were occasionally shooting each other suspicious glances but apart from that the mood was still relatively genial.

"Hey guys, this is one of our new Divas, Ellister!" Ashley announced, pushing me forwards into the middle of the group. I stumbled over my own feet and knocked into Hunter, who grabbed hold of my arm to steady me.

"Whoa there. Hey, I'm Hunter."

"Hi," I whispered and smiled weakly, feeling unaccountably shy in the face of one of my heroes.

"What's that? I can't hear you." Hunter put his hand to his ear and leaned closer. "Speak up. Or did Vince hire a mute?"

"Oh, shut up!" I muttered irritably, shoving him. "You're a pillock."

"You get used to it," supplied John, and folded his arms and looked completely untroubled as Hunter shot him a death glare that would have melted a lesser man. "What?"

"Are you saying that I'm a… what she said?" demanded Hunter, gesturing wildly at me.

"Hunter, everyone knows you are," said Edge with a cocky smirk.

"Don't you start! You're worse than him!"

"I am not!" Edge looked genuinely affronted. "I'm the Rated R Superstar!"

"Yeah, rated R for Retarded," sniggered John. JBL just snortedandJeffsniggered as the three started bickering loudly.

"What have you done?" he asked, looking thoroughly amused.

"Er… started World War Three, I think," I replied with a shrug as we sank down onto one of the couches. "Dear Diary, today in my new job I contributed to the destruction of the world - OI!" I roared as Edge picked up a cushion and threw it at Hunter, who ducked so that it hit me. "Fucking gobshite," I muttered as I lobbed it at Edge's head.

"You know, it's kinda hard to tell, they're like this in the locker room all the time," he remarked. "Hey! Leave me out of it!" he yelled as Edge pushed John, who stumbled and fell into him. I roared with laughter as Jeff shoved John onto the floor and dived into the melee.

"I think I'm going to like working here," I remarked to Ashley, who giggled as the door opened. I looked up and couldn't quite suppress a fangirl squeal as Kane strode through the doorway.

"KANE!" He looked startled as I jumped to my feet, pushed through the warring quartet and grabbed the man in a great big hug.

"Uh… hi?" he asked uncertainly as I let him go and grinned.

"Hi. I'm Ellister, a new Diva, and I've always wanted to do that."

"Oh. Right. Hi," he said, still looking a trifle shocked and uncertain, and turned his attention to the battle raging in the living room. JBL was providing commentary, Carlito had now been roped in, and the rest were egging them on and placing bets on the outcome. "What happened here?"

"Er, that was my fault. I insulted Hunter and it snowballed from there. Can you say, oops?" He laughed and clapped me on the shoulder.

"You'll fit right in, I'm sure. Watch out." He pulled me out of the way of Jeff's falling body; Jeff hit the ground with a grunt and sprung back up as if he was made out of rubber.

"Sorry!" He flashed me a brief grin as he dived onto John and Kane shrugged, led me well away from trouble and plonked me down in between Candice and Ashley.

"Look after her. She's not to start any more fights, all right?"

"But it's fun!" Candice and I said together, and laughed. Kane sighed and folded his arms.

"You mean you're not even going to try and behave?"

"Why would I do a damn fool thing like that?" I pouted.

"For my sanity!" he replied, his tone conveying that he was surprised I even need ask.

We watched the fight for a bit, cheering loudly as Jeff picked up a fluffy cushion and tried smothering John with it as Carlito and Hunter chased Edge around the room.

The doors opened again and Kit stepped through wearing vinyl pants and a hunter green tank top; so intent were we on the fight that we didn't notice her arrive until she clapped her hands loudly and yelled "OI!" The men stopped fighting and turned to look at her; Jeff dropped the cushion he was holding. I couldn't see the look on his face but he had gone stock-still and was staring, and I guessed that in his world time had slowed down while Theme From A Summerplace played in his head. Hunter and Carlito dropped Edge and tried to look innocent, and John jumped up and grabbed her around the waist as he tried to hide behind her.

"Protect me, new kid!" he begged. Kit turned to face him and raised an eyebrow.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because they're ganging up on me!" Kit snorted.

"Jeff doesn't look much like a gang," she snorted. "And you probably deserved it. Elli?"

"What? It wasn't my fault!" I protested. John let out a loud, sarcastic laugh and I shrugged. "All right, so maybe I called Hunter a pillock, but you didn't have to get involved."

"Sure I did! I had a, uh, a thing… You know!" Kit rolled her eyes and smacked him around the head.

"Prat!" she muttered and turned to face the others. "Hi, I'm Kitten." There was a chorus of "Hi, Kitten," and she came to sit with me, Ashley and Candice as Jeff, John, Hunter, Edge and Carlito tried to pretend that they hadn't been fighting a mere thirty seconds before.

More people came in as Kit and I wandered around trying to get to know the rest of the guys. Lashley came in after Kit, and was followed by Lillian Garcia and Lita. Kit was so excited at the appearance of her favourite female wrestler that she immediately abandoned her conversation with John to go and talk to Lita, and they were soon joined by Edge. John sat there gaping after her, his brow creasing in a frown.

"Have I just been dumped for a chick?" he asked. "Tell me Kit did not just abandon me for a chick!"

"She did. Sorry, hon, but Lita's hotter than you," I teased.

"Huh!" John looked mortally offended at the notion and folded his arms as he slumped back in a sulk.

"Fine, if you're going to be a big baby about it… Hey Brian!" I latched on to Brian Kendrick as Chris Masters was showing worrying signs of wanting to come over and talk to me, and steered him forcefully over to the other side of the room.

"Are you okay?" he asked as Masters frowned and tried instead to muscle in on Kit's conversation with Edge and Lita.

"Chris Masters creeps me out," I admitted in a low whisper. "I'm not sure what it is…"

"The way he's been blatantly trying to paw you and Kit since you got in here?" he suggested, wrinkling his nose with disgust. "Yeah, he's a creep. Best not to get involved."

"Believe me, I don't intend to, and if he grabs my sister's arse again I will kick him SO hard…" I muttered as he grabbed Kit. "Or maybe not," I amended as Kit spun around and kicked him. Hunter immediately darted to Kit's side to pull Masters away from her and give him a lecture.

"You and Kitten are sisters?" asked Brian, his eyes widening in surprise. "But… you're British, she's not…"

"Long story," I replied with a shrug and turned to the doors opened to admit Matt Hardy. I was glad I had such tight hold of Brian, as my knees went weak. Matt was infinitely hotter in real life than he was on screen, and I had to work hard to keep myself from spazzing out. He looked around, spotted me, and wandered over with a grin.

"Hey there, new Diva!" he said with his hand outstretched. "I'm Matt; it's nice to meet you."

"You too. I'm Ellister." I took hold of his hand and tried to ignore the jolt that passed up my arm at the contact. My face flushed and I was seconds away from swooning into his arms. Matt just looked at me, a small smile on his face, and Brian coughed loudly.

"I'm uh, going to go over there," he said loudly and scarpered. Matt and I ignored him as we continued staring dumbly at each other, an awkward silence building between us. I realised I still had hold of his hand and dropped it.

"So… you're new," said Matt unnecessarily.

"Yeah," I replied lamely. "Signed on a week ago and got press-ganged into this."

"Cool." We lapsed into silence again and I shifted awkwardly from one foot to another, unsure of what to say apart from 'Fucking hell, you're hot'.

"So you're British?" Matt asked, making another brave stab at conversation. I nodded, trying desperately to steer my brain away from its current train of thought, which was along the lines of 'you so hot, want to jump, NO must not jump, jumping bad!'

"Yeah. Moved here about a year ago," I replied, not daring to look at his face in case I lost control and totally spazzed out.

"JEFF!" Kit's yell made us both jump. We looked over to see Kit swearing loudly as she tried to get out from under Jeff. We both laughed, and the tension between us vanished.

"Sorry! So sorry!" Jeff was saying as he rolled off her and helped her to her feet. "John pushed me!"

"Hmm!" Kit folded her arms and glared at Jeff and John, and they both backed away.

"Excuse me, I think I have to go and stop my sister before she kills your brother," I said to Matt and he laughed.

"Good idea. I'll just go and escort my brother to safety, then." Matt hurried over and grabbed Jeff and I grabbed hold of Kit.

"Let's not kill the nice people before we've even been in the house an hour, yeah?" I asked.

"Kill? Me? Nah, I wouldn't kill… maybe maim a little," Kit snorted, but allowed herself to be led away as we joined the other Divas at the kitchen table.

We stayed mainly with the Divas as more people entered the house, occasionally talking to some of the lads whenever they passed our table. Chris Masters kept looking longingly over at us, but didn't make any moves towards us as Kane kept glaring at him every time he looked like getting up from his chair. Melina ran straight to Johnny Nitro when she entered the house, ignoring the rest of us, and Candice confided that Melina was a cow who thought herself queen of the locker room. Kit and I exchanged smirks at this; it'd be fun to put her in her place. By contrast, Mickie James ran over as soon as she spotted us at the table, greeted Kit and I with enthusiastic hugs, sat herself in between us and began chatting away as if we were long-lost sisters.

Paul London, Randy Orton and Shane McMahon followed; Randy immediately joined the group that currently consisted of John, Hunter, Jeff, Matt and Carlito, and wasted no time in making known how hot he found the new Divas - "Especially the brunette, I mean, check out that vinyl clad ass!" he remarked to Jeff, who pretended not to hear.

Shawn Michaels wandered in after that, and Kit went very still. A small squeak escaped her lips and she glared at me as if daring me to mention it. I just sniggered and wondered exactly how badly her inner fangirl was spazzing out. Shawn spotted us at the table and practically ran over, a look of almost childlike glee on his face.

"New Divas! Hey, I'm Shawn!" he said enthusiastically.

"Hi, I'm Ellister, this is my sister Kitten," I replied, and nudged Kit in the ribs; she had gone slack-jawed and wide-eyed and I wondered for a moment if her brain had actually shut down.

"Shawn Michaels…" she whispered, and then started babbling about his entire career, startingfrom the beginning. Shawn looked politely bemused at the tide of information sprouting from her lips, and when she paused to take a breath both Lita and I clapped out hands over her mouth.

"Kit's a big fan," I supplied helpfully. Shawn grinned andclapped his hands delightedly.

"Yay! Come and talk to me, fan!" He grabbed Kit, who shot me an almost despairing look as she was led away. I watched them talk, only half paying attention when Torrie Wilson and Trish Stratus were admitted. Hunter wandered over to join Shawn and Kit and I relaxed as the three of them indulged in a bit of good-natured banter, Kit's natural sarcasm totally quashing her fangirl spaz-out.

Temporarily bereft of entertainment I looked around the room. Jeff, Matt and Carlito were whispering together and pointing at Randy. Just as I wondered what they were planning the doors opened again and the Undertaker stepped in.

"OHMYGOD!" I looked around for the person who had screamed and realised with a flush of embarrassment that it had been me. Everyone turned to stare at me and Kit rolled her eyes as I tried vainly to control my inner fangirl. I failed, and charged him much as I had done with Kane.

"Oof!" Taker grunted as I hit him at about waist height and hugged him tight. "Er…" he added as I continued to hug him. "Kid… can't… breathe…"

"Oh. Sorry." He turned a cool gaze onto me and I looked at the floor, feeling like a total fool. "It's just, I've been a fan of yours since childhood, and you were like my first idol, and now I'm meeting you, and yeah I'm just going to shut up now because I'm babbling, hi I'm Ellister and I'm a new Diva?" I supplied helpfully. Taker's face split into a broad grin - a strange sight in itself - and he shook my hand.

"Good to meet you, Ellister," he said sincerely. "It's always nice to meet a fan."

"Ha! Fangirl!" taunted Randy as he appeared suddenly beside me and poked me in the ribs. I squeaked and jumped sideways, crushing Taker's foot as I did so.

"Sorry! Randall Keith Orton, I'm going to MURDER you! STOP FUCKING POKING ME!" I roared as Randy continued to jab a finger into my side. I grabbed his hand and tried to bite it. Randy tried to snatch his hand away but I kept a death grip on it and as we wrestled, he tripped over, pulling me down on top of him.

"Hey there, cutie," he smirked, wrapping his arms around my waist. I rolled my eyes and tried to get off him, but he held me too tight. Kit ran in and kicked him in the side until he let me go. He got to his feet rubbing his side and looking hurt.

"What did you do that for?" he pouted. "I did nothing!"

"You were groping my sister," Kit pointed out.

"Your sister threw herself at me, what's a boy to do?" asked Randy with a perfectly innocent look on his face. "Hey that's it, you were jealous weren't you? You wanted me all to yourself? Well, ladies," he said, smirking as he wrapped his arms around our shoulders. "There's no need to fight. There's plenty of me to go around. Hey!" he protested as John smacked him over the head. "What did I do now?"

"Don't molest the new Divas, ok?" said John sternly.

"I wasn't molesting! They liked it!"

"Behave, both of you," said Edge, looking amused. "Randy, you're a manwhore."

"Am not!"

"You are!"

"You're making me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry."

"Pfft! I've seen you angry, it's about as frightening as a little girl."

"That's it, Edge! You're going DOWN!" Randy charged Edge, who got out of the way so that he crashed into Matt instead. Matt shoved him away and aimed a slap at Randy, who ducked so that he hit Hunter by mistake. Within seconds all was chaos as Jeff, Matt, John, Randy, Edge, Shawn, Hunter and Carlito all attacked each other and the middle of the living room was just a writhing mass of bodies. The door opened for the final time and Vito, wearing a pretty blue floral dress, stopped dead at the sight in front of him.

"What happened?" he asked, sidestepping Edge as he rolled towards him.

"They're being… well, themselves," supplied Lita helpfully, and Kit and I grinned at each other as we settled down to watch the chaos unfold.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Thanks for the positive feedback! It's always nice when someone appreciates something I've written. If you're reading this and haven't left a comment yet, what do you think the review button's for? Decoration? Let me know what you think, and don't be frightened to be honest, dammit!_

_Hope this wasn't too excessive a delay in between updates, and hope you continue_ _to_ _like it!_

_-Ellister_

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"Urrrgh." I grimaced at my reflection in the mirror. Bloodshot eyes roved across a face that was smeared with yesterday's makeup and my carefully straightened hair was sticking up in all directions. "Is this me?" I wondered aloud.

"'Fraid so, babe," replied Mickie, wandering out of the shower room in her underwear and rummaging around in her bag for some clothes to wear. "Ugh. You know, I always swear I'm never going to let Trish talk me into a drinking game, but it always happens." She clutched her head and grimaced. "I hate hangovers!" she announced loudly to the room.

"Do you mind? Some of us are trying to sleep!" snapped Melina, poking her head out from under her duvet, mindless of the fact that it was almost noon.

"Well I guess you need all the beauty sleep you can get," said Mickie waspishly. "I'll see you out there, Ell." I nodded, grabbed my stuff and headed for the showers.

As I stood under the scalding water I tried to remember exactly what had happened last night. I remembered playing the drinking game I Have Never with Kit, Mickie, Trish, Lita, Torrie and Ashley. Chris Masters had been smarming around, and after the third time I'd threatened grievous bodily harm if he tried to chat me up, Kane had intervened and claimed me for the Brothers of Destruction's surrogate little sister. Masters had left me alone after that and had tried to go for Kit instead, but Hunter and Shawn had clapped their hands on her shoulders and glared at him until he'd gone away.

After that there had been the dancing contest between Carlito, Jeff, Matt, John, Brian and Paul, and the poker match with Edge, Randy, Nitro, Batista and Vito that had degenerated into fisticuffs amid accusations of cheating. Kit had tried to beat Randy to death with a rolling pin for being too cocky for his own good, and Hunter had decided she was a worthy heir to his legacy of destruction and proclaimed her to be his surrogate little sister. After around the fourth or fifth time John and Randy had started fighting, I'd collapsed on my bed and passed out. Those Divas could certainly drink a lot, and now I was suffering for it.

After I'd showered I dressed in some baggy black jeans and a red tank top and headed out into the lounge area, right into the middle of an argument between Kit and Randy.

"No."

"But Kitten, come on…"

"No."

"But…"

"Gods dammit, Randy, I am not having sex with you just so you can prove a point to John!"

"But how am I going to prove my theory that all women in the world want to sleep with me if you don't?" I looked around for a suitable bunker, spotted Taker sat on one of the sofas, and made a beeline for him.

"Hi big brother of mine, I'm just using you as a human shield, don't mind me," I said as I flopped down onto the floor and tried to hide behind his legs.

"Why?" he asked, not taking his eyes from the book he was reading.

"Because Kit's not a morning person, she'll probably end up killing Randy, and if I sit here nice and quite like I can't be an accessory to murder," I replied. "Besides, this fulfils my childhood fangirl fantasies of just being near you… and gazing at you adoringly… and touching you… just touching you fills me with a joy my parents always said was wrong!" As I spoke I jumped up onto the sofa, knelt down beside Taker and placed my head on his shoulder, assuming an expression of wide-eyed innocence as I did so. He froze, glanced at me worriedly, and slowly put the book down.

"KANE!" he yelled. Kane looked over from the breakfast table and rolled his eyes.

"What now?" he sighed.

"She followed you home, she's your responsibility. Remove her from my person. Right now!"

"You love me, really!" I sang, hugging Taker's head. "You love me and you know you do!"

"Kid, you're scaring me a little bit. Kane!"

"All right, I'm coming," sighed Kane. He stalked over to the sofa, picked me up in one arm and swung me over his shoulder. I shrieked and tried to kick him so he would put me down but it had no effect. He dumped me down on the floor in the middle of Matt, Jeff and Hunter, who were in the middle of a card game.

"You three… actually, this was probably a bad choice. You're not going to see she behaves, are you?" sighed Kane, only just realising his folly.

"Hell no. It takes the attention away from us so we can plot in peace," said Jeff casually, throwing down his cards with a sigh. "I'm out, guys. What did you do?"

"Just creeped out Taker a bit, as is my prerogative as his little sister," I replied. I poked Matt in the side and craned over his shoulder to peek at his cards. "What're you playing?"

"Texas Hold 'Em. Wanna join?"

"Eh, no. Never understood it and don't particularly want to." I looked over to where Kit was valiantly trying to restrain herself from strangling Randy, and tensed up as Chris Masters wandered out of the bedroom clad only in his skivvies and made his way over to her. He leaned against the wall next to her and assumed his smarmiest smile.

"CHRIS MASTERS, GET YOUR SAGGY BACKSIDE AWAY FROM MY SISTER!" I roared.

"What?" Hunter rolled onto his side so he could glare at the offending gentleman. "MASTERS!"

"Whoa!" Masters backed away with his hands raised in supplication. "I did nothing!" Hunter swept a cushion off a nearby seat and launched it at Masters; it hit him in the side of the head.

"Put some pants on, man. You're scaring the natives." Masters stalked off, looking slightly put out, and Hunter shook his head and glared at his cards. "I've forgotten what I was doing. Hardy, you're a shit dealer. Gimme the cards." He took all the cards back and shuffled them. "Sure you don't wanna play?" he asked me, and I shook my head.

"Nope. No interest in poker whatsoever."

"I could help you learn," offered Matt.

"Yeah, but that would involve me actually taking an interest, which as previously stated I don't have."

"Come on, you'd get to enjoy the company of the Hardy Boyz and the legendary Hunter Hearst Helmsley," said Jeff with a smirk. "What's not to like about that?"

"Poker is what I don't like about that. Not interested. At all." I made to get up but Matt and Jeff both grabbed the waistband of my jeans and yanked me back down. "Kit! Help, I've been abducted and forced to play poker!"

"Deal me in," she called and wandered over, leaving Randy watching her with a confused look on his face.

"I'll help you," said Matt as I settled down next to him with a resigned groan and reluctantly accepted my cards from Hunter.

Half an hour later I was bored of the game and still confused, even with Matt whispering helpful hints to me. I threw my cards down with a sigh and buried my head in my hands. Kit and Jeff were involved in a fierce bidding war and Hunter had long since folded and was watching the pair with an amused look on his face.

"Hey, you got a good hand there, why did you fold?" demanded Matt.

"Because I'm bored," I replied. "This is a silly game. I've got no patience with card games more mentally stimulating than Snap."

"Royal Flush. I win!" announced Jeff, laying his cards down triumphantly. Kit glared at him and threw her cards down.

"Cheat!" she accused. Jeff assumed a look of such perfectly innocent shock that I couldn't help but giggle.

"I didn't cheat!" he protested with a pout.

"You dealt the damn cards that time. Cheat!"

"I never cheat!" Kit glared at him, picked up a handful of chips and threw them at him. He responded in kind and soon chips were flying in all directions.

"I guess the game's over now anyway," conceded Matt, sitting up and stretching with a groan. He froze as Edge and Lita wandered out of a door I hadn't noticed before, wrapped around each other with the glowing, smug look on their faces couples get on their faces after sex.

"Hey man!" Edge called over to Randy. "Just been in the private room. Man, I needed that this morning!"

"There's a private room?" I asked, confused, trying to blot out Edge as he started talking loudly about how great sex with Lita was.

"Yeah, it's next to the diary room and, like the diary room, it's soundproofed… thank god," muttered Mickie as she sat down on Matt's other side and glared at the couple. "Last thing we need is to hear those two going at it like rabbits. Here, I got you a sandwich," she added, thrusting a plate at me.

"Thanks." I took the plate from her and looked carefully over at Matt. His face had gone carefully blank, and he'd gone so tense I was worried he was going to seize up permanently. I poked him in the side. "You okay there, Matthew?"

"Yeah. I just don't like the fact that I'm no longer with her being rubbed in my face like that," he replied shortly and made to stand up. At that moment Kit, who was still play fighting with Jeff, rolled backwards and knocked into his legs. I had just about enough foresight to throw myself onto my back before he fell on top me, squashing the breath out of me and completely obliterating my sandwich. We both stared stupidly at each other for what felt like forever. I felt like I couldn't breathe, although that might have been the weight of him on my chest, as I stared into those deep brown eyes, and time had no meaning…

Kit and Mickie's laughter brought me back down to earth with a bump and I became acutely aware of the fact that I was pinned underneath one of the sexiest men on the WWE roster. My face flushed and I swore loudly and slapped Matt's shoulder.

"Get off me, you great lump!" I demanded.

"Sorry!" He rolled off me, got to his feet, and helped me up. "Dammit Kitten, when I'm trying to make a nice quiet exit could you not trip me up?"

"Sorry!" smirked Kit, looking anything but. Lita wandered over, an amused look on her face. "Hi, Lita!" said Kit happily.

"Hey," replied Lita with a grin. "You causing trouble?"

"Me? No!" said Kit, with such a beautifully innocent look that it might have fooled anyone who didn't know her too well. I managed to turn my laugh into a hacking cough, receiving a kick on the shins from her for my trouble.

"Liar. I was watching you," Lita laughed, turning her gaze to Matt. "You okay, sweetie?"

"Fine," said Matt shortly, and turned and walked out into the garden.

"Well that was rude," remarked Lita, watching him go with a frown. I watched him, too, my heart sinking. I liked Matt, he was pleasant company, and whenever I'd decided to make someone my friend I always felt it if they were less than happy, so I followed him outside.

I found him squatting down by the chicken coop, staring at nothing, and nudged him with my foot.

"You okay there, squire?" I asked.

"Fine," he muttered distantly.

"Want to talk?"

"Nah."

"Want me to piss off?" He shrugged.

"Nah."

"Fine then, Monosyllabic Boy. I'll just sit here, shall I?" He shrugged again and I sat down and watched the chickens. The one I'd christened Masters, a brown speckled one, came over and pecked at the cage.

"Hello, Masters," I cooed softly, poking my finger through the mesh. It scurried away, clucking angrily at me, and I chuckled. Every time it came near me I'd either try and stroke it through the mesh or rattle a stick, and it would run away. I ignored Matt completely, and let the silence wrap itself around us. I could sense that Matt was struggling to speak but figured if he had anything to say, he'd say it, and until that happened I was content just to harass chicken-Masters. So immersed in my game was I that when Matt next spoke it made me jump.

"Why did you call that chicken Masters?" he asked, and I started and stared at him, having temporarily forgotten that he was the reason I was out here in the first place.

"Oh… because she looks like Masters," I replied. "Look, same dazed expression, same wobbly behind… the resemblance is uncanny."

"So I see," he snickered and I smiled.

"Feeling better now?" I asked and he nodded.

"Yeah. Thanks for sitting out here with me," he said.

"You're welcome," I replied, privately feeling I'd been of little use if all I'd done was play with the chickens.

"I'm gonna go inside. I want to hit the gym. Talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay, you do that," I said, watching him go in confusion. He hadn't said anything about what was on his mind, and he hadn't asked me to leave him alone… yet he had thanked me for just sitting in silence with him. I shook my head. Men were strange creatures, I decided, and headed indoors so I could go and sit with the Divas and enjoy some intelligent company for a change.

Later that afternoon boredom had really set in. We weren't allowed TV, internet, paper, pens, pencils, newspapers or magazines inside the house, and there wasn't a lot to do. Thankfully I'd been allowed to bring my mp3 player as my luxury item, and Mickie had hers, and we were lying in the garden, enjoying the September sunshine, and listening to both mp3 players at the same time. It was strange having Iron Maiden's Hallowed Be Thy Name blasting in one ear and Gwen Stefani's Hollaback Girl in the other. Whether Mickie found it strange or fun I had no idea, but she appeared to be giggling to herself.

Suddenly a voice boomed out of the speakers embedded in the high walls of the garden, cutting through the music. Mickie and I ripped out our ear buds and sat up to listen.

"_This is Big Brother. Would all inhabitants please make their way to the sitting room area_," said the distorted male voice. Mickie and I glanced at each other, shrugged, and joined the others who were already inside.

"This is where we have to do one of those challenges we were told about, right?" asked Torrie, looking worried. "I wonder what it'll be."

"Guess we'll find out in a while," replied Candice, who was lounging on one of the sofas and using Gregory Helms as a pillow, a fact he didn't look too displeased about. I spotted Kit stood with the usual lot of John, Randy, Shawn, Hunter, Jeff and Matt and made my way over, Mickie close behind me.

"So, challenge. What do you reckon?" I asked of the group in general.

"I don't know, but I hope it's something that'll let me ninja-kick Randy in the face," replied Kit, flashing her sweetest smile at Randy.

"What? What did I do now?" pouted Randy.

"Children!" said Hunter warningly. "Don't make me send you to bed without any supper!"

"What? I'm good! I'm always good!" protested Kit. Hunter snorted disbelievingly.

"You know, if he does send you to bed without supper, I'll sneak you in some cookies," said Shawn in a stage whisper. Hunter rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to say something but the distorted male voice cut over him.

"_Ladies and gentlemen, this is Big Brother. I am presenting you with a challenge. Successful completion of the challenge will give you your shopping budget for the week. You have an hour and a half to find out three facts about every other person in the Big Brother house: their birthday, their favourite colour, and their favourite musical artist. When the klaxon sounds at the end of the allocated time, you will reconvene in the sitting room area for a test. Money will be added for each question you get right and deducted for each question you get wrong. Your time starts now_."

A klaxon sounded, startling several people into action. I turned to Matt and grinned.

"You know, this shouldn't be too hard. I already know your birthday's September 23rd and your favourite band is Pearl Jam."

"Then you know more about me than I know about you," he remarked, his eyes twinkling. "Care to tell me?"

"April 19th, AFI," I replied with a grin.

"And your favourite colour?" he asked, grinning back.

"You didn't ask that," I replied cheekily.

"Yeah, but I need to know for the challenge. Are you gonna tell me, or am I gonna have to beat an answer out of you?"

"I…" I trailed off and smirked wickedly. "Is that a promise?"

"Don't say things like that," sighed Kit. "She'll only enjoy it."

"Bite me, bitch!" I retorted. "No, not really!" I added hastily as she grabbed hold of my arm and raised it to her mouth. "Go find out stuff. Go on!" I pushed her in the direction of Mickie.

"You know, if you want to torture an answer out of her, she's really ticklish," said Kit before she turned to talk to Mickie. Matt grinned and I backed away.

"Let's not get hasty now… GOBSHITE!" I shrieked and giggled hysterically as he started roughly tickling my sides; several people stopped talking to stare at us. "All right, I yield, I give in, my favourite colour's red!"

"Thank you, milady," said Matt, executing a mocking bow. I stuck my tongue out at him and turned to speak to Hunter. "Don't you need my favourite colour?"

"I guess," I sighed, mentally slapping myself for forgetting to ask.

"It's dark blue, for your information," he replied, his eyes sparkling with merriment. He reached out to poke me and I squeaked and darted away from his finger.

"Hate you," I pouted, and turned back to Hunter.

As the hour and a half wore on it became apparent that there was no way in hell I was going to remember all this information. It was a relief when the klaxon sounded again and we piled into the lounge for the test. I hoped like hell Big Brother would ask me a question relating to Kit, Matt, Jeff, Taker, Kane or Mickie, as all the other answers seemed too jumbled and confused in my head to make any real sense out of.

Everyone was each asked one question relating to a random Superstar. My question was Batista's birthday, and I managed to get it right purely by guessing. We did pretty well for the first challenge; only Johnny Nitro and Randy got questions wrong, Nitro completely forgetting Melina's favourite colour, which caused her to go off in a strop, and Randy forgetting John's birthday, which meant that he had to endure having the piss taken out of him for the rest of the evening.

After the challenge was over, Big Brother announced that as we'd done so well in the first task, there was a prize waiting for us in the Diary Room. Lillian and Trish went to get it and brought back a hamper full of booze and party nibbles. I resigned myself to another drunken night as Mickie poured us girls a glass of wine, and then eyed the empty bottle thoughtfully.

"HEY GUYS!" she yelled several times, finally clapping her hands and whistling shrilly to get everyone's attention. Eventually people stopped talking and turned to look at her. When she was satisfied, she picked up the bottle and grinned mischievously. "Let's play Spin the Bottle!"


	4. Chapter 4

We fanned out in a circle. I sat myself down in between Kit and Matt and Mickie sat down on Kit's other side, with Randy next to her. JBL could be heard complaining that this game was childish but was ordered to shut up and participate or risk a dunking in the pool by Hunter.

"All right, people," announced Mickie when we were all settled. "The rules are simple. I start by spinning the bottle. If the bottle lands on you I kiss you, and then you spin the bottle and kiss whoever it lands on. See? So simple even Randy can understand it!" Randy pouted as Kit and I giggled and Mickie snorted and ruffled his hair.

"Can I make an amendment to that?" asked Kit. "The person sat on the spinner's left has to determine the nature of the kiss, for example peck on the cheek, smooch, make-out." She grinned wickedly at me and I rolled my eyes and elbowed her in the side. Of course, she'd have something fiendish planned for me. She always did.

"Good plan! One more rule. If you refuse a kiss for any reason, you have to take a forfeit of the removal of one item of clothing, also to be determined by the person on the spinner's left. Oh, and the longest length of time you can spend on a kiss is five minutes or we'll never get the game finished. Got that?" Mickie asked, and we vaguely murmured our assent. "Great! Let's get started!"

Mickie's first victim was Shawn, and Randy initially ordered her to kill him, but after being gently reminded that it wasn't within the rules of the game grudgingly asked her to peck him on the cheek, which she duly did. Shawn's victim was Ashley, and he had to kiss up her arm. Ashley grabbed the bottle, and squealed in delight as it landed on Kit.

"You'll do nothing more than give her a chaste peck on the cheek!" said Hunter with a stern glare at Ashley. .

"That's boring!" she protested. Hunter continued to glare at her and she pouted and fluttered her eyelashes. Hunter sighed and shook his head.

"Have it your way. Smoochies for thirty seconds. No tongues though!" he said gruffly. Ashley grinned triumphantly and crawled over to Kit.

"Now that's what I'm talking about!" sighed Randy wistfully as the two Divas kissed. "Man I love this game - Hey! What was that for?" he demanded as Mickie punched him in the arm.

"No reason," said Mickie, looking beautifully innocent.

After that, Kit then had to kiss Batista, trailing kisses along his neck and collarbone. Batista had to kiss Matt, full on the mouth, for twenty seconds. Matt had to kiss Gregory Helms, which he wasn't too happy about - just a peck on the nose, which he managed to turn into biting Helms' nose. Helms then had to kiss Kit, which Matt was also not too happy about - he folded his arms, tutted loudly and glared at the pair as they kissed.

"Child!" I muttered as I whacked him in the back of the head.

"What? It's perfectly justified!" he muttered sullenly.

"Just because you don't like the bloke -"

"What? I do like him, really. He's just a total shitbag and -"

"Yeah, you really like him don't you?" I said sarcastically and rolled my eyes. Matt snorted and poked me in the side. I squawked indignantly.

"Don't you start with me, missy!" he threatened.

"Ssh! You're making me miss Kit making out with Brian!" I hissed, slapping his arm lightly.

"Huh!" Matt slumped backwards until he was leaning on one elbow, and turned his back to me. He shot me a look over his shoulder and stuck his tongue out, and I slapped his bottom in retaliation. He turned a look of absolute shock on me and I burst out laughing and reached over to ruffle his hair.

"Trust you to start flirting when I'm gone," Kit hissed in an undertone as she crawled back into her place and Brian hurriedly kissed Vito.

"We're not flirting!" I protested. She gave me a sceptical look and immediately started whispering with Mickie.

"NO!" A shout from JBL made us jump. I looked over to see Vito crawling towards JBL, who was looking to put as much space between him and the man in a dress as possible. I giggled as JBL scuttled backwards until he was right up against the window by the pool area. "Forfeit, forfeit dammit! Get this freak away from me!"

"Come on honey, it'll only take a minute!" purred Vito. He grabbed JBL's head and planted a smacker on his mouth before heading back to his place. JBL looked utterly shocked and disgusted at what had happened, his face twitching as he tried to work out an appropriate reaction. Finally he stormed towards the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind himself.

"Doesn't look like he's coming back," observed Mickie after five minutes had passed. "Shane, you were on his left, you take his go." Shane McMahon grabbed the bottle and spun it. It landed on Edge.

"You two have to make out for five minutes," said Candice, who was on Shane's left, to general applause and catcalling.

"Do I have to?" asked Edge with a grimace.

"Either that or lose your clothes, which will it be?" asked Mickie, with a wicked grin. Edge sighed, screwed his face up and made no further complaint as he received his kiss. When they finally broke apart he shot a panicked look towards Lita, who was too busy laughing to comfort him much, and spun the bottle. It landed on John.

"No. No way. Forfeit," said Edge immediately.

"Aww, I was looking forward to kissing you!" John pouted, fluttering his eyelashes and leaning in to the Rated R Superstar. Edge pushed him away.

"No. Forfeit."

"Fine, then you lose your pants," said John.

"Fine!" Edge stood up, stripped off his pants and threw them over his shoulder. Then he looked down and winced. "Ah…"

"Dude. A pink thong?" asked John with a wicked smirk. "Hey, since when did you start stealing Lita's underwear?"

"Shut up, John!" muttered Edge, whose face was turning as pink as his undies.

"Hey, I was looking for those earlier!" said Lita, to a general ripple of laughter. Edge drew his knees up to his chest and pulled his shirt over his knees as far as possible in an attempt to cover up. John smirked, grabbed hold of the bottle and spun it. It landed on Randy.

"Dude! No way!" protested Randy. "That's just sick."

"It's just a peck on the cheek, right? Right?" John begged Ashley, who was on his left.

"Nope. You guys have to make out for two minutes," Ashley replied with her sweetest smile firmly in place and a wink towards me, Kit and Mickie.

"I'm not forfeiting," said John to Randy. "I'm not wearing a shirt and I'm not sitting here in my undies all evening. I'm not forfeiting."

"Fine. Let's get it over with," sighed Randy dramatically. The two men approached each other like a bomb disposal squad approaching a suspicious looking package, before John just grabbed hold of Randy's head and kissed him forcefully. When Ashley announced that time was up they both sprang away from each other and wiped their mouths hurriedly.

"Dude, you slobber," scowled John as he mimed spitting onto the carpet.

"I do not! You bite!" Randy retorted. "Ugh. Please let it be someone hot!" he begged as he spun the bottle. It landed on Chris Masters and he grimaced as he planted a kiss on Masters' cheek before rushing off to the kitchen to find a new can of beer, cracking it open and draining it in one swallow. Masters spun the bottle and it landed on me.

"Forfeit!" I said immediately. Masters looked really disappointed.

"Hey baby, it's not all bad I promise-" he began, before realising that he was sat in between Kane and Taker, and they were both glaring and growling at him. "Ah… forfeit, then?"

"Yeah, forfeit." I turned to Kit. "What shall I take off? Jeans or top?"

"Top!" said Randy immediately, and Matt, Jeff and John all threw their empty beer cans at him. "What?"

"Which would you prefer?" asked Kit.

"Top. Don't want to bear my cellulite to all and sundry!" I sniggered. "It could possibly be more frightening than Masters' arse."

"Nah, nothing's that frightening," she giggled. "Okay. Top it is." I stripped off my top and threw it onto one of the sofas, and caught Matt staring.

"What?" I asked and he started suddenly.

"Oh… nice tattoo," he said, indicating the dragon tattoo on my right arm. I rolled my eyes as Randy cheered, earning himself another pelting, this time from Taker and Kane, and picked up the bottle. I span it and it landed on Kane.

"Kiss him on the top of his little bald head!" crowed Kit and I duly obliged.

"Soon as this game's over you're getting dressed again," he warned as I grabbed hold of his head and planted a smacker right on the top.

"I know, I know! Stop protecting me!" I groaned, slapping him lightly on the arm as I went back to my place.

The game wore on. Kane kissed Lillian, who kissed Lita, who kissed Kit, who kissed Jeff. Mickie ordered Kit to remove Jeff's top and trail kisses down his chest right down to the waistband of his pants. Kit duly complied, taking joy in playing with Jeff's belly ring with her tongue, and her face was a little flushed and she looked slightly spaced out when she finally re-took her place. Jeff smiled charmingly at her before taking hold of the bottle. Matt nudged my arm, indicated Kit and Jeff, and I nodded. He grinned evilly and leaned over to whisper to his brother. Jeff snorted, span the bottle - and it landed on Kit again.

"Well darlin', looks like me and you were meant to be together tonight," he drawled as Kit groaned and buried her face in her hands.

"Jeff, I reckon you should pull her onto your lap and make out with her for five minutes," said Matt with a wicked smirk. Kit lowered her hands and glared at him.

"I hate you!" she mouthed before accepting her fate and crawling over to Jeff. He smiled warmly at her before pulling her onto his lap. She hooked her arms around his neck and he placed one hand on the small of her back, the other twining in her hair as they kissed.

"So. Your sister and my brother?" whispered Matt and I nodded.

"Yeah. She's had a crush on him forever. She'd absolutely refuse to admit it to anyone though," I replied. "In fact she'd probably flat out lie if anyone asked her outright."

"Ah." He nodded sagely. "In that case, I think we should do something about it. Soon as this game's over meet me in the garden and we'll discuss Operation: Annoy Our Siblings To Death."

"Deal," I sniggered and we shook hands.

Kit looked more flushed than ever as she retook her seat, and she glared at me and Matt.

"I hate you both," she moaned weakly as Jeff leaned back onto his elbow, looking highly pleased with himself.

"What? I did nothing!" I protested. Kit shot me a look that plainly said she didn't believe me.

"I'll get you back for that," she growled. "I know just the thing." She smirked and I edged away from her and grabbed Matt's arm.

"Help me, she's plotting, I know that look, that is not a good look!" I hissed in his ear.

"How bad can it be?" laughed Matt.

"Extremely, you don't know my sister like I do!"

The game restarted. Kit had to kiss Carlito, who kissed Melina, who kissed Masters, who kissed Trish, who kissed Taker, who kissed Lita, who kissed me. I heard Matt gasp and mutter something as she planted a smacker on my lips, and as she whispered something to me about trying to humiliate Edge and Randy, which caused me to giggle, I noticed him give her a very nasty look. Lita sat back down and I picked up the bottle and span it. It landed on Matt, and Kit started to cackle.

"Oh, sorry, was that me?" she said brightly and cleared her throat before giving me a winning smile. I glared at her, dreading to think what she had planned. "Okay, you have to lie down, on your back. Matt, you go on top of her… between her legs… and you two have to make out for five minutes." She grinned broadly as I groaned.

"I hate you!" I mouthed at her as Matt and I got into position. I smiled up at him, feeling my face flush as I became acutely aware of the fact that I didn't have a top on.

"Ready?" he asked with a broad grin threatening to slice his head in half. I nodded dumbly, and gasped as our lips made contact.

Matt was a very good kisser and my senses swam as our tongues writhed together like snakes. His hands felt incredibly hot on my bare skin and I gasped as he stroked down my ribcage and onto my stomach, sending a jolt of electricity straight to my groin. Almost subconsciously I raked my nails down his back, causing him to hiss against my lips. His lips moved to my neck and I groaned in pleasure as he nipped down gently, and I slid my arms under his top to stroke the smooth skin as his lips recaptured mine in a frenzied kiss.

I heard Kit's voice as though it were coming from miles away and with a monumental effort of will pulled my lips away from Matt's. We lay there for ages, panting and staring at each other dumbly, while I tried to bully my mind into working properly. It felt all fuzzy around the edges, and it didn't help that I was immensely attracted to him, and incredibly turned on right now. And he was also attracted to me… at least, if he wasn't before the kiss he was very, definitely attracted to me now. Oh, gods… I groaned and tried to convince myself that what was digging into my hip was just a roll of quarters and nothing else.

It was some moments before we could move again, and as Matt retook his spot we exchanged shy, embarrassed grins. He cleared his throat and spun the bottle. It landed on Lita, and the colour rapidly drained from his face.

"Well? What are you going to do?" taunted Edge, who was managing to look smug even though he was still sat with his shirt firmly pulled down over his knees.

"You can always forfeit," I reminded him gently. He hesitated for a moment and then shook his head fiercely.

"No. It's okay. I'll do it."

"Okay. Kiss the back of her hand, gentlemanly-like." He shot me a sharp look that made my stomach flip over nervously.

"Are you trying to protect me?" he barked harshly. The tone of his voice stung and I stared at him for a moment.

"No! I just thought…"

"Well don't!" he snapped and I threw up my hands.

"Fine then, smooch on the lips for thirty seconds. See if I care!" Jeff, Kit and I exchanged exasperated looks as he did just that and then pulled away from Lita looking quite upset. She grabbed hold of his arm and pulled him close so that she could whisper in his ear, and he pulled roughly away from her and stormed off towards the private room.

"Matt? You okay?" called Hunter, but Matt ignored him and slammed the door behind him. Jeff and I both stood up to follow him but Jeff put his hand on my shoulder.

"I'll handle this. He's my brother," he said and I sat back down and turned to Kit and Mickie.

"What the bloody hell?" I asked in a whisper.

"Well… you know the history there, right?" asked Mickie and I nodded. "Must have just brought back some painful memories, that's all." I sighed and looked over at Edge and Lita, who were whispering together and looking smug, and felt a rush of hatred towards the pair. What they'd done to him was unforgivable, and doubly so if they were just going to rub it in his face all the time we were in the house.

The door to the private room opened again and Jeff wandered out, rubbing his temples.

"You try talking to him, Ell," he sighed. "You're a woman, you might have some sort of calming influence, whereas I just want to shove his head through a wall right now." I stood up as Jeff stood back down and headed over to the private room. The door wasn't locked and I slipped inside.

The private room was just large enough to hold a double bed, music centre and minibar. Matt was lying on his back in the middle of the bed, glaring up at the ceiling.

"Get out," he said as I approached the bed.

"You alright, Matthew?" I asked gently. He tilted his head slightly so he could glare at me.

"I thought I said get out?"

"I just wanted to see that you were all right," I said defensively, making no moves towards the door.

"What do you care?" he spat.

"Well, I thought we were friends," I replied and sat down on the floor, looking up at the bed.

"We only met yesterday," he muttered sullenly.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I don't like you and can't care for your wellbeing," I snapped. "What's this about? What did she say to you?" Matt sighed and resumed his silent contemplation of the ceiling. "All right, be a sulky bastard if you want. But I'm not moving until either you calm down and decide to rejoin civilisation or you tell me what's wrong." He shrugged, and I settled myself more comfortably against the wall, fished my mp3 player out of my pocket, turned it on and zoned out slightly as I selected my favourite playlist, all the while never taking my eyes off Matt.


	5. Chapter 5

-1_Hello, readers! Another update for you to enjoy. And if you're reading this, how about you make an author happy and leave me a little review to tell me what you like about this ficlet of mine. Or what you hate about it. Feedback makes the world go round and keeps me writing, and you wouldn't want me to stop writing now, would you? Thought not! It'll only take a few seconds and your reward will be another chapter! ._

_I'm really enjoying writing this. I hope you're enjoying reading it too. _

_Usual disclaimers apply. _

_-Ellister_

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I was startled into consciousness by someone shaking me roughly. The loud strains of Dimmu Borgir blasted through my ears and I pulled my ear buds out and looked muzzily up at Matt.

"Wha?" I asked intelligently and he sniggered. I rubbed my eyes and forced a smile. "Hey you. Feeling better?"

"Yeah. I mean I was content just to sit and mope all evening, but you were providing a distraction," he teased with an accusing look.

"How so? I was just innocently sat here listening to music!" I protested.

"Sweetie, you started snoring. It's hard for a boy's inner emo to emerge when the sound of something like a buzz saw keeps breaking your concentration."

"I wasn't snoring!" I protested with a snigger.

"You were. Loudly, too." He grinned at me and I laughed. "Come on. It's not healthy to sleep on the floor like that." He helped me up and I groaned as my back twinged in protest. "See?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know… ow." I stretched a bit and frowned. "I'm going to need a spar in the morning for definite. My muscles hurt."

"It is morning," Matt pointed out, looking at his watch. "4.30 am, to be precise."

"Oh." I frowned at him. "Have you been to sleep yet?"

"Yeah, I did. Right before you did. I was planning to sneak past you but I couldn't wait up that long. You're stubborn, you know that?"

"Yeah, I know. It's one of my best features," I said sarcastically. He gawped at me for so long, apparently trying to decide if I was serious or not, that I started to feel uncomfortable.

"Right…" he said slowly, and shook his head. "We should get out of here. The others will talk about this, you know."

"I know. Let them. The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about, as Oscar Wilde once said," I said breezily, and followed him out of the room.

The lounge and kitchen area was deserted, everyone else apparently having done the sensible thing and gone to bed. Empty beer cans and wine bottles littered the floor and I grabbed a bag from the cupboard under the sink and started clearing them up, while Matt washed up a couple of mugs.

"Did you want a drink?" he asked and I nodded.

"Coffee please. Black, two sugars." I finished bunging the rubbish into a bag and sat myself down on the floor, and immediately jumped back up again. "Ew. Someone's spilled something here. It's all sticky!" I moaned, jumping onto the sofa instead. I got myself comfortable, sitting cross-legged with my arms draped loosely over my knees, and smiled up at Matt as he returned with my coffee.

"Why did you come after me tonight?" he asked as I sipped my coffee.

"Because Jeff asked me to," I replied. "But in all honesty I wanted to before he asked me."

"Why?" asked Matt and I shrugged.

"Because I like you. I'd have done the same for Jeff, Shawn, Hunter, Mickie, Ashley, John… because you guys have been nothing but nice to me since I walked through those doors, you've let me hang out with you and made me feel like part of your gang, even though I'm new and I've known you just over twenty-four hours, I'd like to think that we're friends, or at least we could be friends. And I don't like it when my friends are upset," I told him honestly. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh… just something Lita said," he replied, his eyes narrowing. "She said that you were just looking to cash in on my popularity, you were just looking to use me as a step up in the company, and I had to be careful not to get sucked in."

"What?" I demanded, my jaw dropping. "If I was trying to get ahead in the company don't you think I'd be sucking up to the Chairman's son… which I'm not, because he sucks," I added with a grin.

"Yeah, I kinda figured that, but still… it made me wonder why you were trying so hard to be my friend."

"Am I trying too hard?" I asked, genuinely confused. "I mean, all I've done is be myself, and if that's trying too hard…"

"No, no, no," he said quickly. "I mean, I… I don't know, you just always seem to be hanging around me and my brother, and after what she said…"

"It's because I like you and I want to be your friend," I said slowly. Men could be dumb, sometimes. "Besides, it may or may not have escaped your notice but my sister has a huge crush on your brother. I need to infiltrate the enemy camp and find out what's what."

"Ah, of course. I hadn't thought of that one." He smiled faintly and stared off into space, apparently lost in thought and I took advantage of the silence to drink my coffee, which had cooled sufficiently by now for me to be able to drink it in one go.

Matt and I talked for ages after that, about our lives and our childhoods, and got into an argument about music - he liked Slipknot, I didn't. The sun was well up by this time and I didn't think I'd ever get back to sleep now, so when Mickie found us both fast asleep on the sofa in the morning I had no idea how it happened.

"Well?" I opened my eyes to see Mickie's grinning face inches away from my own and yelled in shock, causing Matt to wake with a snort.

"Wha'? Whuzzgoinon?" he muttered sleepily. "Oh, hi, Mickie."

"Good morning!" she sang, looking very pleased with herself. I pushed myself up from where I'd been using Matt as a rather comfortable pillow and stretched out my back, which seemed to have tied itself in knots overnight. "What did you two get up to last night?" she asked innocently, a little too innocently for my liking.

"Nothing. We talked and fell asleep," replied Matt.

"Oh come on!" Mickie practically howled. "Are you telling me that you two spent all that time in the private room and nothing happened?"

"That's right." I rubbed at my eyes and yawned. "What happened was he refused to talk and started sulking, so I sat down on the floor and listened to my mp3 player, and we both fell asleep."

"She woke me up with her snoring," added Matt and I glared at him and poked him in the side.

"Get used to it. Why…"

"Why does he need to get used to it?" demanded Mickie instantly, a wicked grin spreading across her face. "Are you two going to be sleeping together a lot from now on? Are you two madly in love and want to make babies?"

"Mickie, go away and annoy someone else," said Matt tiredly.

"You didn't answer my question!" she pouted.

"No, we're not; now do as the nice man says and go annoy someone else… like John for instance."

"Nah, he threatened to kill me if I woke him up any more… I'd like to see him try though…" She grinned mischievously and ran through into the boys' bedroom. A few seconds later there was a yell and Mickie came haring back out of the door. She jumped onto the sofa and tried to burrow behind me and Matt.

"Mickie!" I moaned just as John roared, "MICKIE!" I winced at the sound and glared at him as he stormed out of the boys' bedroom and glared at Mickie. He was totally naked and automatically, like it was on a winch, my gaze drifted downwards and I let out a shrill giggle and clamped a hand over my mouth.

"Are you out of your mind?" John yelled. "What the hell were you thinking… what's wrong with her?" he demanded as I squealed with laughter and clamped my eyes shut.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" asked Matt. "Like, clothes?"

"Oh. Oh, shit!" I heard the bedroom door slam and gradually my giggles subsided.

"Is it safe to open my eyes yet?" I asked weakly.

"Yeah… you know it's not nice to giggle at a guy's manhood like that," said Matt, barely concealing a grin himself.

"Yeah, but when a guy's manhood is wobbling right in front of your face like that, you can't help yourself." I bit back a laugh and stood up. "I need a coffee. That'll calm me down."

"Wait. You need coffee to calm down?" asked Mickie worriedly.

"You should see what she's like without it," said Kit as she emerged from the girls' bedroom. "What was all that noise?"

"Mickie woke John up and he ran out here naked," I replied. "It was funny," I added with a giggle. "You know it's been a while since I had a man waving his bits in my face - what?" I added innocently as Kit and Matt choked. "It's the truth!"

"I think you killed them," said Mickie conversationally as she thumped Kit on the back.

"Well as long as you're recovered by the time I get out of the shower, Kit. My back's knotted to all hell and I need a spar to loosen up."

"Yeah, where did you sleep last night? It wasn't your bed, I know, I'd have heard you sneaking in."

"I slept on Matt."

"What?"

"Love ya!" I called as I darted into the bedroom, ignoring her shouted command to stay and explain. I grabbed my stuff and ran into the shower room, still giggling about the look on her face as I turned on the shower.

After showering I dressed myself in some clothes that were easy to move in, some flared blue jeans and a white AFI T-shirt. I stepped back out into the living room as I buckled up my studded leather belt, to see that some more people had emerged. Jeff was humming to himself as he fixed breakfast, and Kit was studiously ignoring him. JBL was slumped over the table in the kitchen, Candice, Torrie, Ashley and Mickie were gossiping together in the corner, Melina and Nitro were complaining loudly about the beds not being comfortable enough to the only person who could be bothered to pretend to care - Shane - and Brian and Paul were making rude gestures behind Masters' back and plotting together. I nodded towards the gym and Kit stood up from where she'd been talking to Matt and followed.

"So what happened last night?" asked Kit as we went through some stretches.

"Oh, nothing really. He sulked and I fell asleep on the floor waiting for him to stop sulking. Woke up at 4.30, came out of the room, chatted a bit and fell asleep on the sofa. That's it. And while Matt makes a comfortable pillow, it hasn't done my back any good."

"I'm surprised at you," she sniggered. "You had him all to yourself in an empty room and you didn't jump?" I shrugged.

"Didn't feel like it," I replied.

"Liar," she snorted.

"No, I really didn't. I mean, sure he's hot, but I don't even know him properly yet." Kit shot me a sceptical look and we finished our stretches in silence and moved into the ring.

We started off by throwing and blocking punches, with Kit berating me for constantly leaving my right side open to attack. I responded by using the ropes to propel myself forwards and catch her with a clothesline. She dropped to the floor and kicked out, sweeping my legs from underneath me. I hit the mat on my back and moaned as my back flared with pain. Kit took advantage of my hesitation to climb onto the top rope and execute a diving elbow drop, catching me in the chest with it. I choked and rolled away from her, massaging my chest as I attempted to get to my feet. I hated it when she did that!

Kit pulled me to my feet and applied the half-nelson. I yelled out in pain but refused to submit, instead trying everything I could to get her off me. I managed to twist my body enough to kick her legs out from underneath her and although she pulled me down with her the lock was broken and as soon as we hit the mat I rolled away from her and to my feet. Kit stood up and as she turned around I ran at her and performed a dropkick. She hit the floor and I scrambled over to her, sat down on her back and applied the camel clutch hold.

"Damn you!" she managed to choke out.

"Submit, dammit!" I yelled.

"No!"

"Submit!"

"NEVER!"

"Submit… OI!" I was pulled off Kit and just had a quick glimpse of Jeff's grinning face as he swung me up over his shoulder. "Put me down, you brute! I almost had her!"

"I think you need to cool off, hon," he said, and I could hear the grin in his voice.

"JEFF! Put me down RIGHT NOW!" I tried kicking him and hitting his back with my fists but it had no effect as he carried me out of the ring, through the living room and out to the pool area. "I mean it Jeff, put me down!"

"Oh, I'll put you down," he said, and the next second I was thrown into the pool. I emerged coughing and spluttering and screaming bloody murder at the top of my voice. I looked wildly around for the offender but he was nowhere to be seen; he reappeared moments later with Kit slung over his shoulder. She was fighting like mad to get away and when he attempted to dunk her into the pool she grabbed hold of his arm and refused to let go, resulting in them both taking a dive.

"What was that for?" demanded Kit when Jeff surfaced.

"Well you weren't gonna submit and she wasn't gonna let go of you so I thought I'd break it up," he replied with his winning smile firmly in place.

"Yeah but why dunk me? She was the one being mean!" Kit pouted and Jeff laughed and splashed her. Kit went to dive after him and deal out merry hell in retribution but the distorted voice of Big Brother came through the speakers, asking us to converge in the living room as it was almost time to make the first nominations for eviction.

"Nominations? Already? But we don't really know anybody yet!" I protested as we climbed out of the pool.

"I know who I want to get rid of," said Kit darkly as Masters leered at us - from a safe distance, as Shawn, Hunter, Kane and Taker were nearby.

"What happened to you?" asked John as Kit, Jeff and I squelched into the living room.

"Jeff," Kit and I chorused. Kit giggled suddenly and punched my arm; I turned in the direction she was pointing and smirked at the look on Matt's face. He was staring as if all his Christmases and birthdays had come at once and he didn't quite know how to react.

"Oh yeah, I'm wearing white, aren't I?" I whispered to Kit and she sniggered.

"If he stares any harder Kane and Taker are going to go spare," she whispered back. I looked over at my adoptive brothers and laughed at the looks they were shooting Matt. I wandered over and threw my arms around Kane's neck, planting a kiss on the top of his head.

"Get off! You're all wet!" he grumbled as Taker laughed, probably glad that I hadn't chosen to hug him.

"Blame Jeff. He dunked me." I rocked him while humming tonelessly to myself as we waited for the nominations process to start.

We were called into the Diary Room in alphabetical order, and asked to provide two nominations for eviction. When I was called I nominated Chris Masters, because he was annoying, and Melina, because she'd been moody and aloof the entire time, refusing to associate with anyone but Nitro. Once that was done I finally got to go and change into something dry - hugely flared blue-green jeans and a black halterneck top with a silver dragon on the front - and rejoined the others. I sat myself down in between Matt and John, accepted a beer from John, and joined in the game of I Spy that was developing - as it was against the rules to discuss nominations before they happened.

Finally, after Vito rejoined the group, Big Brother spoke to us again.

"The votes are in and have been counted. Four housemates will be put to a public vote and the two who receive the most votes will be evicted from the Big Brother House. The four nominees are: JBL, Chris Masters, Melina, and Ellister." I gasped as though I had been doused in cold water; John and Jeff shouted out "No!" and Kit swore loudly, causing Shawn to tut and admonish her for her use of language.

"I don't understand," said John urgently, indicating the group that included himself, Shawn, Hunter, Jeff, Matt, Mickie, Ashley and Kit. "None of us would have nominated you! What happened?"

"Lita's been stirring things up with her crowd," Mickie confided. "She seems to have taken a dislike to you, girl, I don't know why."

"It's because she's friendly with Matt," Ashley suggested. "And I've got to admit she's got a lot of influence… Edge will do anything she says and he's in cahoots with Nitro, Melina, Randy… if they spread the word they'd have got a lot of votes for you," she added, turning to me with a sympathetic look. "But don't worry because I like you!" she finished brightly, planting a kiss on my cheek.

"Thanks, Ash," I laughed.

"That does it," growled John. "RANDAL KEITH ORTON!" he bellowed, and sprang for his best friend.

"Ow! What've I done?" protested Randy they started brawling in the middle of the living room. Kit moved over to me and rubbed my arm.

"You okay?" she asked sympathetically.

"Yeah. Just have to hope that the public keep me in." I forced a grin and sighed. "You know, I bet Taker and Kane voted for me just to get me out of the house and away from any male attention."

"And that would work really well if Masters was evicted too," she said sarcastically with a roll of her eyes.

"Well, I better go into the diary room and beg for the public to leave me alone," I sighed and got to my feet. "Wish me luck!"

"Good luck," the gang chorused and I dragged myself over to the Diary Room, trying vainly to think of anything I could say to persuade the public to let me stay. It was going to be a long afternoon…


	6. Chapter 6

-1_Hiya folks! I hope you're still enjoying this fic. Hell, I'm loving writing it. I never knew the Superstars would be so much fun to work with!_

_Just a couple of quick notes. I know I mentioned in an earlier chapter that it was September. I want you to forget that, as I'm having the Big Brother promotion end a couple of weeks before Unforgiven. Real-life storylines will be kept, altered or discarded completely depending on how they fit into the story. Yes, it is my world and you have just been hijacked. Also, for the purposes of the story, wrestling is - mostly - 100 per cent real, with storylines only being introduced when a wrestler has a particular problem or need, like an injury or a pressing family matter._

_Anyway, that's enough waffle, on with the story! And don't forget to let me know what you liked, loved and loathed about it!_

_- Kisses, Ellister_

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I came out of the diary room with a sick, nervous feeling in my stomach. I didn't want to leave the house just yet, I felt as though I hadn't had sufficient time to make a mark and I wanted to get to know the guys a bit better. I jumped over Randy and John, who were grappling on the floor, and sat down in front of the sofa where Kit, Jeff and Ashley were sat.

"You alright, sweetie?" asked Kit. I nodded.

"Yeah. Nervous as all hell though." Jeff snorted and reached down to ruffle my hair. I squawked in indignation and jerked my head away from his hand.

"You'll be fine," he said calmly.

"Yeah, because even if you do get voted you out I'm chaining you to your bed," said Ashley, wrapping her legs around my shoulders and hugging my head. "You're mine!"

"Ashley! Get off!" I laughed, slapping at her legs. She giggled and squeezed tighter. "Ashley, I'm serious, you're choking… get off!" I grabbed at Matt and Mickie as they walked past.

"Guys, help! I'm being molested! ACK!" Ashley leaned forward and planted a kiss on the top of my head; her hair hung down in front of my face and I got a mouthful of it. "Woman!"

"What's that? You wanna be molested? Okay!" said Mickie with a devilish grin, grabbing hold of my right breast.

"Huh. How come she gets molested by two hot Divas and I don't?" groused Kit. Ashley and Mickie reached over and grabbed her boobs and she laughed. "Um, I think we broke the guys…" I pushed Ashley's hair out of my eyes and looked up. Matt and Jeff had gone very still and were staring, Shawn was whistling quietly to himself and studiously inspecting his fingernails, Randy and John had stopped their fight, with Randy still pinned under John, to stare and Hunter pushed himself to his feet looking half-amused, half-exasperated.

"Uh oh… we're in trouble!" said Mickie and she and Ashley hurriedly stood up (Ashley accidentally kicking me in the head as she did so), brushed themselves down and endeavoured to look innocent.

"Hi, Hunter!" they chorused.

"See? We're not doing anything," said Mickie innocently.

"Yeah, we're really, really good," said Ashley, fluttering her eyelashes and flashing him her widest grin. Hunter snorted, folded his arms and shook his head.

"What am I going to do with you two?" he sighed.

"Not get mad at us for molesting your surrogate sister?" suggested Mickie hopefully. I laughed as they tried to talk their way out of trouble and turned to look at Matt and Jeff. Matt had paused in mid-gesture and had a faint smile on his face, and Jeff had just gone extremely still.

"Damn, that was hot," sighed Randy, and yelled as John drove his head into the floor. "Hey, what was that for?" he complained, kicking John off him. "You are such a dick," he muttered and stormed outside.

"Okay, overreaction much?" muttered John. "Man, the guy's an ass… remind me why I'm friends with him again?" he asked as he sat down in front of Kit.

"You are?" she asked, feigning surprise. "All you seem to do is beat the shit out of each other."

"Yeah, that's just our way of showing how much we love each other," said John lightly, and looked at Matt and Jeff with a frown. "What's up with these two?"

"We broke them," replied Kit with a giggle. John looked Matt up and down and then kicked him hard in the thigh. Matt jumped, stared at John, looked down at his leg, and then yelled in pain.

"Ah! That hurt, you fucker!"

"Delayed reaction, much?" sniggered John. "How's the weather in your world?"

"Bite me, prick," muttered Matt. "Jeff… hey, Jeff?" He waved his hand in front of his brother's face. Jeff didn't even flinch. Kit smirked and poked Jeff in the side. Still no reaction. She continued poking him and Jeff very slowly started to grin, and then suddenly and without warning grabbed hold of Kit's hands with one of his and started tickling her and poking her back. She shrieked with laughter, got one of her hands free and hit him on the head.

"Bad Jeff! Bad, bad Jeff! No cookie for you!"

"Aww!" His shoulders drooped and he turned on the puppy dog eyes. Kit hesitated, and then hurriedly shut her eyes.

"No. I'm not falling for that!" I was amazed that she could resist. Jeff had the world's cutest please-forgive-me face that just made me want to reach out and hug him. He put his chin on her shoulder and she looked around automatically, yelled and pushed him away.

"No! Go away! Matt, make your brother stop looking at me like that!"

"You're on your own, little girl," Matt laughed. "Hey Ellister, shouldn't you be packing right about now? You know… in case you are evicted?"

"Yeah…" I said uncertainly as my stomach muscles clenched nervously. "Why? Are you that keen to get rid of me already?"

"No!" he protested. "But you know, the sooner you get it done the sooner you can chill out and goof around and enjoy your potentially last day in the house."

"You speak wisely, my boy. I'll do it once Melina's finished." I stood up, stretched, looked out at the garden and frowned. "Is Randy smoking?"

"Yeah, he does that occasionally," said John. "Usually when he's mad at me for some reason… oops?" he added with a shrug of his shoulders, looking like he didn't really care.

"I'm going to cadge one off him," I said, deciding on the spot I needed something to calm my nerves.

"You don't smoke!" exclaimed Shawn, looking scandalised.

"Only when incredibly stressed or incredibly drunk. I made an effort to quit when I moved over here and I've been pretty good… most of the time. Right now though I think I need at least a couple of drags, or I'm liable to break something… probably one of you boys." I grinned at them and stepped outside onto the patio.

"Twos me up on that, lad," I said, tapping Randy on the shoulder. He spun round to face me and his face broke into a sly grin.

"What's in it for me?" he asked with a smirk. I folded my arms and glared at him.

"You get to not be kicked in the head." He looked at me strangely for a moment, took a drag of his cigarette and then handed it to me. I took it from him and inhaled deeply.

"Okay, what's bugging you, dollface?" he asked. "You look like you're either going to hit someone or throw up, and if you're going to do either at least wait until I'm back inside."

"Just a little nervous about eviction night," I replied, leaning back against the wall. The cigarette was making me feel sick so I gave it back to Randy after only two drags. "Oh well. Guess it shows I'm making an impact, right? An impact of hate…"

"Don't say that!" said Randy. "I mean, I nominated you but I don't hate you… no actually there's a very, very good reason why Lita said we should all vote for you," he added hastily as he dodged the kick I aimed for him. "I just can't remember what it was…"

"Your brains wouldn't fill an egg cup, Orton." I spun around to see Edge standing by the door, his arms folded and a malicious smirk on his face. He jerked his head indoors and Randy stubbed out the cigarette and darted inside. Edge came over and I tensed up, folded my arms and stared out across the garden.

"Nice day," he remarked after a couple of seconds' uncomfortable silence.

"What do you want, Edge?" I snapped. "Somehow I doubt you came out here to talk about the weather."

"You're right. I came out here to talk to you." I turned to face him and leaned against the brick work, which felt pleasantly warm on my skin. "About you getting nominated for eviction, that is."

"So talk," I said harshly as he paused, apparently for dramatic effect.

"Well, me and Lita have been talking, and we're concerned about the company you're keeping within the house," he said. I snorted and he gave me a stern look. "I'm serious, Ellister. You're consorting with known troublemakers. We're just trying to think of your career here, and Lita and me… we're champions. We're winners. You could do a lot worse than befriending us instead of those losers you're hanging around with."

"Yeah, because you two have tried oh so hard to befriend me these last couple of days," I scoffed. "I notice you have a problem with me befriending that lot, but not my sister. Why?" He shrugged.

"Well, she's quite friendly with Lita, and she's a strong, capable woman…"

"And I'm not?" I interrupted.

"Well, you are becoming quite close to Matt Hardy… a little too close for our liking, and-" Edge began.

"Ah, now we get down to the reason. You don't want me hanging out with Matt." I bit back my lip in an attempt to stem the rush of fury that flooded me. The urge to smack his stupid face was almost overwhelming and I shook slightly as I held myself in check. "Don't you think you've caused him enough trouble? Why can't you just leave him alone?"

"See, we believe that he's still quite bitter-"

"With good reason, you were shagging his girlfriend behind his back!" I yelled. Edge chuckled to himself.

"I won her over, fair and square. All's fair in love and war and all that jazz," he said with a smirk.

"There's nothing fair about the way you operate," I muttered darkly.

"Anyway, like I said, we have reason to believe that Matt is still bitter about what happened, and we don't want him to poison your mind against us. We could really help you go places in this company," he said.

"Yeah, I'm going places. Like away," I snapped and pushed past him towards the door. He grabbed hold of my arm and spun me back around to face him.

"See, it's started already… this is why we need you out of the house. Get out this evening, drop Matt, and be our friend instead. We could help you."

"So are you going to stop taunting Matt?" I asked. Edge shrugged, an evil grin spreading across his face.

"Look, you don't need to worry about him. Hell, I don't!"

"Yeah well, sorry mister but Matt is my friend now and if you upset him, it will go badly with you. I mean that." I held his gaze, daring him to say something stupid, anything that would justify him getting a fist in the face.

"Ellister, you consort with losers and you'll be a loser. I mean that. You spurn the hand of friendship; we'll see to it that you never get anywhere."

"You're pathetic," I spat, and pulled out of his grasp. "You're a sad, useless weasel of a man who can't even win his own championship on his own merit, who has to cheat his way to victory. Sorry, friend, but I don't associate with charlatans and traitors." I spun on my heel and strode towards the door.

"You know, Matt's never going to want to fuck you," Edge called. "So why don't you stop chasing after him like a desperate slut and consider my offer?" That did it. I ran back to him, grabbed him by the lapels of his shirt, dragged him down to my level and head butted him. He yelled out in pain and I pulled him up close to my face again.

"This isn't about Matt. This is about you being an arsehole. Now listen carefully, because I will only say this once. Piss. Off." I shoved him away from me and he landed on his backside and stared at me in shock. I stormed through the door, ignored Kit's shout and hared through into the bedroom, where I started slamming my possessions into my case with violent haste.

"Elli?" You okay?" I heard Kit ask from the doorway.

"Edge is a…" I struggled to find words that were strong enough to describe my feelings towards him, eventually settling on "sodding WANKER!"

"What was all that about?" asked John. I looked up to see him, Jeff and Taker crowding the doorway. I sighed and told them what had transpired. Jeff looked grave and thoughtful, Taker looked thunderous and John was sniggering to himself.

"It was kinda funny, I mean I just looked over and saw him go down clutching his face…" He mimed the action and laughed. "Beat by a girl! He's never going to live it down!" His face split into a broad grin. "Thanks, Ellister. You've handed me some great material for mind games. That championship is as good as mine! Excuse me." He pushed his way back out of the room, still laughing, and I watched him with an eyebrow raised.

"Glad someone finds it funny," I muttered and snapped my case shut.

"Hey, don't worry about it, precious," said Jeff, moving over and clapping a hand on my shoulder. "Edge is an asshole."

"Yeah, and we'll kick his ass for you if he causes you any more trouble," growled Taker.

"Thanks, guys." I straightened up and sighed. "Right. I'm going back out there and if anyone else crosses me today I'm well up for making people pate."

"Good call, can I help?" asked Kit, her eyes wide and shining with delight as we stepped out into the lounge. "Ooh, let's hope it's Masters! I wonder how much pate you could make just with his ass."

"A few square miles I should think," I sniggered. "Enough to feed a starving family of four for six months - oof!" I grunted as Mickie hit me at waist height and hugged me tight.

"Elli, help, I think John's going to kill me and eat me!" she said, barely able to keep from laughing.

"What have you done now?" I sniggered.

"Well I made a comment about how I'd come across some fanfiction once that was about him and Edge and maybe insinuated that the animosity between those two could pave the way for some really kinky sex, and he kinda took offence…"

"Mickie, what have we said about causing untold mental damage to the men folk?" sniggered Kit.

"To do it as often as possible because it's funny?" she suggested, and squealed as John spotted her and lunged. "Bye!" She hared off outside with John in close pursuit and Kit and I burst out laughing as we moved towards one of the sofas and sat down either side of Kane.

The rest of that afternoon was fun, albeit slightly tense as eviction time loomed nearer and nearer. Kit, Ashley, Candice, Torrie and I started playing word games, and were joined by Mickie once she'd finished battling with John. Edge and Lita were nowhere to be seen, presumed sulking somewhere private. Some of the guys were relaxing by the pool, and when Jeff joined us, dripping wet, with his purple hat wedged firmly on his head, Kit went very still and studiously ignored him for the rest of the afternoon.

Around seven p.m. Big Brother announced that the eviction party was starting, and we had an hour until the evictees were revealed. That was our cue to retrieve some bottles of bubbly from the Diary Room and just chill and relax, and enjoy the time left. Masters used his time in making one final attempt to seduce either me or Kit, but JBL intervened, whacking him repeatedly with an empty bottle and gave the excuse that he was 'bored'. Kit was delighted and immediately claimed JBL as a friend and he looked half pleased, half terrified at the notion. I spent my time flittering between select people, indulging in random conversations, and occasionally pausing to snigger at Edge, who, when he and Lita finally rejoined the group, spent most of the evening sat in the corner and glaring at me.

"Well, ten minutes left," Matt announced at ten to eight, and I felt my stomach muscles clench nervously. I turned from my conversation with Candice about the merits of lacy lingerie and smacked him over the head.

"Did you have to remind me?" I pouted.

"Hey, just thought you'd like to know, that's all!" He mirrored my pout and I laughed and patted his cheek. "I wanted to ask you something but if you're just going to assault me…"

"Oh, stop being such a bloody drama queen," I sniggered. "What's up?"

"I was just wondering why your sister's ignoring my brother, that's all." He indicated where Kit was talking enthusiastically to JBL and refusing to acknowledge Jeff's attempts to get her to pay attention to him.

"Oh, he sat with us earlier, half naked, dripping wet… probably just sent her hormones into overdrive so she's ignoring him until there's a chance that she can look at him without wanting to pounce immediately," I replied with a snigger.

"Ah… you know, if she knew you were telling me her secrets…" he began with a smirk.

"I'm only doing it so you can tell me your brother's secrets," I countered with a grin. "How else are we going to know how to exploit him?"

"Fair point. I'll tell you all later, if you're still in the house."

"Matthew Moore Hardy, that's hardly fair!" I folded my arms and glared at him, but he just grinned at me and refused to say more. I rolled my eyes and looked around for someone else to talk to. Torrie and Carlito were huddled together in the corner and looking quite cosy, so I decided to let them be. Mickie was busy aggravating John and Randy, Candice and Ashley were flirting with Brian and Paul, and Kane and Taker were threatening Masters who had apparently just made inappropriate comments about me and Kit. Shawn and Hunter didn't look like they were doing anything so I went to sit with them and stuck my tongue out at Matt as I left him.

"Hey, precious!" greeted Hunter, giving me a hug. "And hey, little girl!" he called as Kit joined us and gave us a hug too.

"You're happy… what's wrong?" said Kit suspiciously. "What are you planning?"

"Nothing!" chorused Shawn and Hunter, looking so beautifully innocent it was obvious they were up to something.

"Let's just say we've got a little surprise for the evictees," said Hunter, looking smug.

"Oh, thanks. I hate you too," I snorted.

"Hey, we're working on the basis that you can't possibly get evicted, because we won't let it," said Shawn hurriedly.

"Good point, but slightly crawly," I conceded. "What's the surprise?"

"It's a surprise!" they chorused.

At that moment, Big Brother announced that it was time for the evictions. I gasped and grasped hold of Hunter's arm tightly. I suddenly felt incredibly light-headed and sick.

"_The_ _votes_ _are_ _in, and they have been counted. The first person to leave the Big Brother house tonight is…" _I held my breath as Big Brother paused. "_JBL_."

"No!" Kit moaned as she hugged JBL goodbye. "I've only just claimed you!" she sulked.

"There, there, you've still got me," soothed Shawn, patting her head.

"Why isn't that as comforting as it should be?" she snorted.

"_The second person to leave the Big Brother house tonight is…" _I crossed my fingers and looked imploringly at Hunter, who wrapped his arm around my shoulders and glared at the ceiling as if challenging Big Brother. "_Chris Masters. You have sixty seconds to say goodbye_."

"Thank god!" I breathed, releasing my hold on Hunter. We quickly said goodbye to Masters from a safe distance and I finally relaxed as they stood by the big doors separating the house from the real world.

The doors opened to let them out, and the moment they stepped through they were doused in green paint. Shawn and Hunter laughed and jumped up to perform the DX crotch chops as we got a last glimpse of Master's green face glaring in shock and indignation before the doors slammed shut again.

"That's what happens to people when they hassle our little girl," said Hunter, looking smug as he hugged Kit.

"Oh no… what have I done?" she groaned. Ashley, Mickie and John came bounding over, waving a bottle of wine and looking happy.

"You're staying!" squealed Ashley, giving me a hug. "Let's celebrate!"

"Sounds like a plan," I said with a grin, accepting the bottle from her and looking around happily, feeling extra fond of the gang and glad to be staying in the house.


	7. Chapter 7

_Hi gang! Hope you all had a good Christmas/New Year/whatever winter holiday you celebrate. I apologise for the lack of updates until now but I got a PS2 and have been spending many, many hours playing Smackdown versus RAW 2007. Ehehehe it's so much fun!_

_This is a slightly shorter chapter than normal, but it should (hopefully) move part of the plot (such as there is) forward a little bit. Not much in the way of fun and games in this instalment but there will be plenty in the next one, I assure you._

_Anyway, enough of my waffle. I'm sure you're all eager to get to the story. If you like it, let me know, if you hate it, let me know why, please feel free to flame me because it's bleedin' COLD here tonight, and if you've got any suggestions or ideas for things to happen in the future or the direction that the storylines should take, either hit that little review button, or feel free to chat to me on MSN sometime. Hit me up at lady(underscore)wolfshead(at)hotmail(dot)com. By the way, this doesn't mean that I'm running out of ideas - far from it! I'm just open to suggestions ._

_Kisses,_

_-Ellister_

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After the initial excitement of the first couple of days, boredom soon set in and apathy reigned throughout the house. Deprived of digital entertainment, we had to make our own, and most of the time found we were stuck for things to do. John and Randy were so bored that they couldn't be bothered to fight more than once a day. Even the second eviction night was met with dulled enthusiasm, and Vito and Lashley exited the house with a general feeling of being glad to see the back of the place.

It was now early in the morning of Day Nine. So early that most of the occupants of the house were still fast asleep. I was only awake due to being jumped on by Mickie, who was bored, and once I was awake she dragged me to the Diary Room to beg Big Brother to give us something to do. We were met with stony silence from Big Brother and left the Diary Room feeling really quite dejected.

"Ah well, at least it's an eviction night," sighed Mickie, flopping down into a chair and draping her legs over the arm. I leaned over the back of the chair and sighed.

"Meh," I replied. I didn't really care one way or the other. I was bored of the house already and the evictions had lost their appeal. I just wanted something fun to do.

"Who are you going to be voting for?" she asked, titling her head backwards to look up at me.

"Ah, ah, ah!" I wagged my finger at her teasingly. "You know we're not allowed to discuss nominations!"

"Bah! Stupid rule!" she said, folding her arms and sulking. "We all know Lita and Edge were putting the word out to get you nominated the first day, therefore we should be able to talk about how we're going to get our revenge in a similar fashion."

"Well we're not, so hush. I don't want to get chucked out for rule breaking this early. Let's save it until we're really bored," I sniggered.

"Spoilsport," she pouted, and yawned. "What shall we do? No-one else is up."

"Well I would still be asleep if you hadn't of woken me up," I pointed out. "Disturbing a delicious dream I was having, I might add!"

"Ooh, about Matt?" she asked, her face splitting into a devilish grin.

"No, about Adam and Davey from AFI," I replied with a roll of my eyes. "When are you going to drop this whole Elli-Matt love thing?"

"When you stop following him about like a lovesick puppy and jump him?" she suggested.

"I do not follow him around like a lovesick puppy!" I said defensively.

"Oh, you do! And he's totally into you, I can tell," she said with a smirk.

"What gave it away? The way he yelled at me to fuck off and threw things at my head last night?" I replied with a derisive snort.

"Well he is still a little sensitive over the whole Lita-Edge thing," Mickie said fairly. "And they were kinda rubbing his face in it a little bit. And to be fair, you didn't have to run after him when he stormed off."

"Jeff asked me to go, he thought that as a woman I'd have more of a calming influence and be less inclined to kick him in the head," I sniggered. "But I seem to have this terrible affliction though that when my friends are bitching, instead of doing what Kit would do and beat some sense into them, I break out the hugs. It's a thing, I'm working on it."

"Ah, I see what you're doing! You're trying to win his confidence before making a move. Ooh, you minx! You're evil!" said Mickie delightedly.

"And you're delusional," I laughed, hitting her over the head. "Seriously, I don't want to jump Matt."

"Good thing too. He wouldn't want to go with a skank like you." I looked up to see Lita, who had just emerged from the bedroom, looking effortlessly stunning despite the early hour. She smiled brightly at me and I folded my arms and glared at her. "Can I talk to you for a second, Ellister?"

"Yeah, because insulting me is really going to make me want to talk to you," I said sarcastically. "What do you want?"

"I don't know why you're so hostile," said Lita as she crossed the floor towards us.

"Because when you're not sending your man-bitch over to insult me you're just generally being a condescending cow?" I suggested sweetly.

"There's a reason for that," said Lita calmly, ignoring the insult for the time being. "You know, I actually like you, Ellister. You've got potential in you, potential that's going to be wasted if you continue hanging around with that bunch of degenerates and losers. I can't stand back and watch that potential go down the drain. Listen to me, honey; DX are finished. Cena's reign is over. The Hardys will never amount to anything. You'll never get over in the company if you associate yourself with them. Why don't we start over? You could be a valuable asset to our winning team."

"I can't believe you've got the nerve…" Mickie started hotly.

"Leave it, Mick," I snapped as my temper flared. If Lita wanted a verbal spar, she had one. "Maybe I'm not interested in getting over. Maybe I'm more interested in making friends. Maybe I hang out with them because - shock, horror - I actually like them." Lita snorted disbelievingly and cast a disapproving eye over my figure.

"Well I hope you got some tricks up your sleeve because let me tell you this, the fans aren't going to go for a wonder cow who looks like she's bursting at the seams," she said snidely.

"Maybe I don't need to flash my tits and arse like some common slapper. Because I have this little thing called talent, you heard of it?" I snapped, gripping hold of the back of Mickie's chair so hard my knuckles were turning white. Mickie in turn was looking half-amused, half-annoyed and she let out a snigger that cooled my temper a bit but also managed to spur me on.

The door to the boy's bedroom opened and Matt, Jeff and Helms wandered through into the gym. Automatically I turned towards the distraction and watched them go. Jeff paused momentarily at the entrance to the gym, looked over at us and frowned, but Mickie waved him on and he soon disappeared. Lita started to laugh.

"Oh, trust me, Ellister," she purred, unzipping her top slightly to show off her cleavage. "I know Matt's type and you're not it."

"Why's everyone so fixated on me and Matt? We're just friends," I growled to Mickie. "And you need to leave Matt alone," I added, rounding on Lita once more. "Don't you think you've caused the poor boy enough trouble? Or do you take some sick sort of pleasure in tormenting him?"

"You need to stop chasing after him like a bitch on heat," Lita retorted. "It's embarrassing, watching you moon over him day after day. It just makes you look desperate and pathetic. Quit it, okay? Just a piece of friendly advice."

"Like I'm really going to take morality advice from a slut who fucked her boyfriend's best friend behind his back!" I snapped. "Besides, you know all about desperate and pathetic. I bet you could give me a few pointers on how to look even more like a trashy fuckslut."

I turned to walk away and the moment I did, I felt a punch connect to the back of my head. Stars exploded in front of my eyes and I turned back, blocked the next punch she threw at me, grabbed hold of her hair and slammed her onto the floor. I took a deep breath and a couple of steps back and she glared up at me, rushed to her feet and speared me. My head bounced off the carpet and I cried out in pain and kicked out at Lita. It degenerated from there; all thoughts of skill and finesse were forgotten as we kicked, punched, bit, scratched and tore at each other, both of us screaming insults as loudly as we could.

Suddenly I became aware of yelling on the outside and then hands descended into my line of vision and we were roughly pulled apart. I struggled to break free of the three men who had hold of me - Matt, Shawn and Taker - and Lita shook Orton and Nitro off and snuggled up to Edge, who was looking furious. It seemed that we'd woken the entire house up and everyone was staring at us curiously.

"Aw, did I miss the fun?" I looked over at Kit, who was watching the scene intently.

"What happened here?" demanded Edge. "What happened, baby?" he asked Lita gently. Me and Lita both started shouting our sides of the story, with Mickie butting in, and no-one could make out a single word until Kit raised her fingers to her lips and issued a piercing whistle that cut through the squabbling.

"What happened, Mickie?" asked Kit.

"Lita came out and was being all bitchy, so Elli started being all bitchy back, Matt's name cropped up, Elli said Lita had to leave him alone, Lita said Elli should stop being so desperate and pathetic, Elli called Lita a trashy fuckslut and it kicked off from there," Mickie summarised. Edge stepped forward, a thunderous look on his face.

"My girlfriend is not a trashy fuckslut," he growled so vehemently that I felt spittle fly into my face and grimaced.

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, love," I sneered.

"You start anything with her again and I'll… I'll…" he began. Lita grabbed hold of his arm and shook her head and they both started to back away.

"You'll do what? Run away like a big fucking COWARD?" I screamed. "Come on then if you think you're hard enough! Fucking let go of me!" I roared and tried to twist out of the guys' grip.

"You need to calm down," said Taker, gently but firmly. "Let it go. The bitch isn't worth it."

"Which one? Edge or Lita?" asked Mickie and I heard a snigger from somewhere beside me.

"I am calm," I said in a low voice through gritted teeth. "I am totally and completely fucking calm, and if you don't let go of me I'm going to give you a bleedin' Belfast kiss!"

"We're not letting go until you promise not to hurt anybody," said Shawn gently.

"I won't! I just want you to let me go, you're hurting!" Shawn let go of me and backed away slowly, Matt loosened his grip on my arm but still held on, and Taker let go of his death grip around my waist and gently lay his hand on my shoulder.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Taker asked softly and I took a deep breath, swallowed and nodded.

"Someone get this girl a coffee before she kills someone," said Kit and shooed Shawn into the kitchen to make said coffee. I stood there, stock still, every muscle in my body tensed up after the fight, and took a few deep breaths before I finally started to relax. I sagged against Taker, looked up at him, smiled and rubbed the back of my neck.

"I feel sore. Girl's got a hell of a punch to her."

"I'm not surprised," he said with a wry grin. "This is why I can't leave you unsupervised. You cause trouble when I'm not around."

"She threw the first punch! While my back was turned, I might add!" I protested and flashed a grin at Matt, who still had hold of my arm and was looking less than happy. "Can I have my arm back now, please?"

"In a minute. Can I talk to you?" he asked, keeping his voice low. I nodded and he steered me to the garden outside, which was currently devoid of nosey wrestlers, although I was sure that if I turned around to face the windows I would see Mickie, Ashley and Kit with their faces pressed against the glass, trying to work out what was going on.

Matt finally released me and turned a grave look towards me. I smiled uncertainly and rubbed at a sore spot on my arm that I was sure was going to bruise.

"What's up?" I asked when he totally failed to say anything. A variety of expressions crossed his face, like he was trying to work out how to phrase what he wanted to say, before he finally began to speak.

"Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do for me, but please stop fighting my battles for me, yeah?" he asked softly. "Don't go making any enemies on my account. It's not worth it."

"Oh, Firfan," I muttered and shook my head. "This isn't about you, Matt. Not totally, anyway. Edge and Lita don't like me, and I reckon they're using my friendship with you as an excuse to pick on me. It's no big deal."

"I think there's more to it than that," he said seriously. "I understand that you get protective over your friends, Kit already explained that to me, but please, stop mollycoddling me, okay? I don't need it and I don't want it, and when I want your interference I'll tell you." An edge had crept into his voice and his tone stung me slightly.

"If you don't want me hanging around, you just had to say," I said, feeling just a little hurt.

"It's not that I don't want you hanging around," he said quickly. "It's just…" He broke off, sighed, and looked at the sky. "Sometimes I feel like I need to be alone, and I feel like you've been kinda crowding me a bit over the last couple of days."

"Fine," I said shortly. "But next time I ask you if you want me to leave you alone bloody well say so, yeah? Don't just shrug and then start blubbing like a girl because I'll just think you actually want me to give a shit and stick around and listen." I turned to go back inside and sure enough caught a glimpse of Ashley and Mickie hurrying away from the windows and snorted to myself.

"Elli…" began Matt tiredly, and shook his head. "I'm not really explaining myself here. It's not that I don't want you to give a shit about me, but… I hardly know you. It's a bit awkward going into the deep, personal stuff with you, but when you're constantly there it just… you know, tumbles out and makes me feel a bit uncomfortable, really. I don't usually open up to strangers, you know? But you're kinda forcing it to happen."

"Then you tell me to piss off and throw things at my head, you daft sod!" I sighed. "Like you did last night, remember? Although maybe not so violently, I swear if that chair had made contact it'd have done some permanent damage." Matt snorted and I shook my head. "Look, can we carry this on a bit later maybe? I don't fancy another row and I am going to kill someone if I don't get coffee soon."

"Oh, I'm not trying to row with you…" said Matt quickly, looking quite upset at the thought.

"Well the mood I'm in, a row might just spontaneously happen. In case you hadn't noticed, Lita managed to upset me a bit and, well, you know." I shrugged.

"Yeah, and about Lita," said Matt quickly as I started towards the door. "Don't hate her on my behalf. She's actually a good person, deep down."

"Well it must be buried real deep under the layers of bitch then," I muttered.

"Don't say that…" he began.

"Why not? She's been nothing but nasty to me ever since I got here," I pointed out. "If she was actually nice to me I might be inclined to agree with you, but she hasn't."

"Oh, and you've done nothing to aggravate that I suppose?" said Matt sharply.

"Not to my knowledge, no," I snapped. "I'm sorry Matt, I know you were in love with her, but I can't stand the slag, okay? And now we're rowing," I added as he opened his mouth to shout at me. "Told you this would happen. And for the record, yes I don't like what she did to you. Yes, I don't like what she keeps on doing to you inside this house. But SHE insulted me, SHE hit me first, and you don't expect me to fight back? Sorry but I can't turn the other cheek. It's not me."

"Maybe you should learn," suggested Matt and I simply shook my head and shrugged, turned and walked back into the house, just as Big Brother announced it was time for us to make our nominations for tonight's eviction.


	8. Chapter 8

_Well, well, well, aren't I good to you all? Two updates in the space of two days! Huzzah! _

_As I write this I have just received confirmation that I now have 10 reviews! Double figures at last! Thank you, all of you. I love you all. You make me happy. Big, big kisses and cookies to all of you. You spur me on to write this sodding thing, so the more comments I get, the more chance there is that I'll actually finish this fic instead of getting bored and leaving it to die, like I have with so many fics on other forums before. So comment more and I'll write more, and everyone's happy! Yay!_

_Constructive criticism, gushing praise and even scathing put-downs all gratefully accepted. You know, I'm surprised I haven't had a single flame yet. Do you really love it that much, or just can't be bothered to say what you REALLY think? Let me know!_

_Enjoy the chapter,_

_-Ellister._

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The nominations were quickly dealt with, and once I had given my two names - Edge and Lita - to Big Brother I snuggled up to Taker and Kane. I was fully expecting to be nominated and it came as no surprised when Big Brother announced that both Lita and I were up for eviction, along with Kane and Lillian.

"What have you and Lillian done to offend the princesses?" I asked Kane, gesturing over to where the heels were sat, talking loudly and laughing about something. Kane shrugged.

"Lillian fell out with Melina about something, I don't know what, because I don't pay much attention to women's yammering," replied Kane with a wry grin. "And I think I annoyed them due to my constant lurking, which was for a good reason as I was trying to figure out what they were plotting."

"Any success?" asked Taker.

"Nah, they were talking in code, I think. At least that's what it sounded like. Who can tell with youngsters these days?"

"Oh come on, you're like two years younger than me," scoffed Taker. "You're hardly old!"

"I feel it sometimes," said Kane with feeling. "I mean, when Brian and Paul start talking about iPods this and Google that I feel like I've stepped into another world."

"Aw, poor Kane!" I cooed, patting his bald head. "You're sounding like a grumpy old man, you know."

"I am a grumpy old man!" grumbled Kane, pulling his surliest face and growling. I put my face up to his and growled back louder, he growled even louder, and so it carried on until Taker got fed up and banged our heads together.

"I swear, it's like looking after a couple of toddlers," he muttered.

"You love us really," Kane and I chorused just as Kit, Ashley, Mickie and Torrie wandered up.

"Are you getting into someone else's head now?" asked Kit with a grin.

"Me? Nope. Not me. Innocent," I replied, returning the grin.

"You're never innocent," said Kit and Mickie together, and Mickie groaned as Kit sent her a death glare and I burst out laughing.

"See, I'm not the only one who gets in peoples' heads," I pointed out. At that moment Matt passed the group on his way to join Jeff, Shawn, Hunter, John and Carlito for a card game, and my insides squirmed with guilt. I knew I should apologise to him for the little flare up earlier, and I would do the moment he decided to stop ignoring me. I sighed and shook my head. "What did you want anyway, girls?"

"We thought we'd have some fun before you get kicked out," replied Mickie with a devilish smirk firmly in place. "Not that I'm saying you will get kicked out of course, but just in case you do."

"What sort of fun?" I asked, perking up immediately.

"The sort of fun that involves us getting wet and possibly breaking the boys," replied Ashley. "I just want to see the look on Batista's face…" She chuckled evilly and Torrie laughed.

"I thought you were after Brian?" I asked. "You're always flirting with him and stuff."

"Brian? No!" protested Ashley, a look of utmost horror on his face. "No, no, he's a great guy and all but there's nothing behind that, it's just a bit of friendly flirtation. If he's anything he's like the little brother whose ass I get to kick… even though he's older than me. But I'd totally do Dave, I mean, have you seen his muscles?"

"Yeah. His thighs look like they're trying to eat his knees," sniggered Kit. "I'll admit he is hot, though."

"Yeah, put Dave in a suit and she loses basic motor functions," I said. Kit smiled slowly and nodded thoughtfully as the mental image sank into her brain.

"Hey! Mine! Put your tongue away!" Ashley laughed.

"I don't want him! As long as I'm allowed to lust from afar occasionally I'm happy," Kit said.

"Well we want to make the men do the lusting today so come on girls, into your bikinis!" ordered Mickie, clapping her hands as though trying to chivvy us along.

"I don't have a bikini," I frowned. "I don't actually own one, and I didn't bring my bathing suit because I hadn't reckoned on there being a pool here."

"What? You can't not have a bikini!" Torrie looked scandalised. "You've got a great figure; you're supposed to show it off occasionally!"

"Yeah, I never really liked showing the flesh in between my boobs and the top of my thighs," I replied with a grimace.

"Well get to like it. You're a Diva now, it's expected!" Torrie folded her arms and gave me a stern look. "The moment we're out of here I'm taking you shopping, lady!"

"Yay! Shopping!" said Ashley happily.

"Oh no…" I turned a pleading look towards Kane and Taker. "They're trying to make me do girly things, help!"

"You are a girl," Taker pointed out helpfully.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I should act like it! Kane?" I let my lower lip tremble and gave him the full force of my big puppy eyes, but the callous bastard just laughed at me.

"That's sorted then. When this is over we go shopping, and in the meantime I've got this great little sexy number you could borrow," said Mickie with a glint in her eye.

"You know, I'm not sure I'm too fond of this idea," Taker began.

"Tough!" called Mickie as she herded me towards the bedroom so we could get changed.

Ten minutes later I was critically scrutinising myself in the mirror. Mickie had lent me a dark red bikini with a silver splash design, the straps criss-crossing at the back of the top and the bottoms tied at the sides. I had to admit it didn't look bad, and Mickie whistled appreciatively as she stepped out of the shower room.

"You look better in that than I do," she said with a pout. "If I were a guy I'd totally do you."

"Thanks, Mick!" I laughed and turned to look at her. She was wearing a tiny, silver, metallic string bikini. "Shiny!" I exclaimed. "John's going to go mad for you in that."

"Okay, who told you I was into John?" she demanded.

"It was sort of obvious, love." I laughed at her indignation and she deflated slightly.

"Oh… Oh, well… Guess I'll just have to make my mark on him next time we all get drunk!" She laughed manically as Kit, Torrie and Ashley emerged from the shower room wearing hunter green, pale pink and black respectively.

"Are we ready?" asked Kit and we nodded our agreement and trooped out of the bedroom.

Heads turned to stare at us as we walked slowly through the lounge. Ashley grabbed hold of my arm, giggled and pointed. I followed the direction of her finger and saw Batista paused in the act of pouring himself a glass of juice; juice was flowing over the top of the glass and he only noticed when it started splashing onto his leg. He swore and hurriedly tried to clean it up using his shirt, much to the amusement of Brian and Paul. Elsewhere the guys had paused their poker game; Hunter had his hand clamped over Shawn's eyes and was glaring at Randy, who was whispering inappropriate comments to Edge, Matt was staring with his mouth hanging slightly open, Carlito had sat bolt upright and spilled his cards everywhere, Jeff was watching us with his usual laid-back expression of mild interest and John stole a quick glance at Carlito's discarded cards, muttered under his breath, leaned back and wolf-whistled at us.

"What's the occasion here, ladies?" he asked. "Or did you just feel the need to give us poor, tormented souls a treat after all the drama this morning?"

"It's hot," replied Mickie diffidently.

"I can see that," said John, looking her up and down and tipping her a wink. Matt shook his head and turned to Jeff, a small smile on his face as they started talking in low voices together. He turned a smile towards me and I returned it, told the girls I'd meet them outside and walked over, thinking that now would be a good time to apologise for earlier.

"Matt…" I began and he jumped and stared at me with wide eyes.

"Nothing!" he said quickly and then froze, his gaze dipping automatically to my chest.

"Guilty conscience?" I laughed.

"Uh…" he replied intelligently and Jeff rolled his eyes and elbowed his brother in the side. It had little effect.

"Look, I came over to apologise for the way I acted earlier, but if you're going to gawp like a fish I shan't bother," I threatened. Matt didn't respond; in fact it looked like he was incapable of uttering anything that could be understood by a human being. I leaned down and lifted his chin so that he was looking at my face instead of my cleavage. "I'm up here, love."

"Oh! Sorry!" Matt said quickly, his face flushing, and I bit back a laugh as Jeff sniggered.

"So like I said, sorry for flaring up earlier, you were right, you just caught me at a bad moment," I said slowly, as if talking to an idiot.

"Apology accepted." He grinned his infectious grin as I straightened up, his eyes roving across my body. "Apology definitely accepted if it comes in that wrapper."

"So at least I know what to do when we disagree in future, just wear a bikini and all my sins are forgiven, right?" I said with a grin to Jeff, who nodded and hit Matt on the arm.

"Pervert," Jeff accused.

"Oh come on, like you weren't looking too!" scoffed Matt.

"I was," said John, raising his hand. "What's Mickie got planned for you all anyway?"

"No idea. All I know is that it involves us getting wet, and I'd better get going before I get lynched," I said as Kit and Ashley yelled at me to hurry up. "See you later." I stole a glance over my shoulder as I walked outside; John, Jeff and Matt threw down their cards and rushed to the windows, closely followed by Carlito, Batista, Helms, Brian and Paul.

When I got outside Mickie had recovered a tarpaulin from beside the chicken run and was hosing it down with water. Torrie was adding to the water with bubble bath, and bubbles were foaming around her feet.

"We got a water slide!" yelled Mickie joyfully as I walked up and wrapped my arm around Kit's shoulder.

"Sweet." I nodded and smiled at Ashley and Torrie.

"What were you doing anyway?" asked Ashley.

"Getting an audience," I replied, jerking my thumb behind me at the window. They turned to see the guys' faces pressed up against the window. Torrie giggled and waved at Carlito, who waved uncertainly back, and Ashley blew kisses to Brian and Batista.

"Alright girls, it's ready!" announced Mickie, rubbing her hands gleefully. "Let's really give them something to stare at, shall we?"

We had a great time in the next hour sliding down the soaked tarpaulin and generally getting wet and soapy. Candice, Trish and Lillian joined us for a while, before abandoning the game in favour of sunning themselves and laughing at our antics. Before long we had been joined by Brian and Paul, who had nicked the hosepipe and were soaking everyone with it. Kit and I managed to get them back by taking the other end of the hosepipe, wrapping it around their feet and tripping them up with it, and Kit proceeded to tie Brian up in the pipe while I grabbed the nozzle from Paul and drenched him with it.

"All right, I yield, I give up!" spluttered Paul, trying to shield his face from the deluge.

"Yay! I win!" I said happily and grinned at Paul. "You realise this makes you my bitch for life, right?"

"No! That wasn't in the contract!" he pouted and I squirted him again with the hose. "All right, I'm your bitch!"

"Yay!" I gave him a hug and Kit looked up and smirked.

"Does this mean Brian's now my bitch?" she asked hopefully.

"Hey, he was my bitch first!" complained Ashley.

"Make big Dave your bitch," I suggested. She tilted her head to one side as she considered it and grinned wickedly.

"Okay!"

"What was that about me?" Batista wandered over, the only man apart from Brian and Paul to be brave enough to do so, treading carefully on the slippery tarpaulin.

"You're now my bitch, apparently," said Ashley with a winning smile firmly in place.

"I agree to nothing," said Batista quickly, his grin meaning that his words lacked bite.

"MINE!" growled Ashley, launching herself at Batista, who slipped on the tarpaulin. We all burst out laughing as they hit the ground and Batista growled playfully and grappled with Ashley.

"Hey guys, looks like we are allowed to play!" called John, approaching us cautiously. "I want in on that fun!" I glanced over at Mickie who nodded and I blasted John in the face with the hose. He yelled and swore and glared at me when I stopped, so fiercely that I immediately dropped the hose and pointed to Mickie.

"She made me do it!"

"Is that so?" John growled playfully at Mickie, who drew herself up to her full height and stared dead ahead at his chest.

"Yep!"

"Come here, you!" Mickie shrieked as John bore her to the ground and they started play-fighting. Kit stepped over the warring duo and wandered over with a grin.

"When do you reckon they'll crack and finally give in to the mad passion they obviously have for each other?" she said conversationally as we watched them rolling around on the grass.

"Give it another week at most… that is if we can't force things beforehand," I replied. Kit looked at me blankly for a second before breaking into her most evil smirk. "Kiss of Death!" we chorused and laughed.

"Okay, next time we have a party, Kiss of Death it is," she promised.

"And it'll be the perfect opportunity for you to kiss Jeff again too," I teased and she rolled her eyes and hit my arm but otherwise made no comment.

At that moment Big Brother interrupted and informed us that it was time for the next challenge. Kit yelled at Mickie and John to behave and follow and we wandered back inside.

"You looked like you had fun," remarked Jeff. "You're all soapy and wet," he added unnecessarily.

"That's what you get for playing in soapy water," laughed Kit. "Why didn't you join us? We wouldn't have minded." She turned to Shawn and Hunter. "I would have thought that you two would have been up for some random mayhem."

"You were doing fine on your own, we didn't want to cramp your style," replied Hunter, clapping Kit on the shoulder.

"Everyone shush!" said Shawn, making wild flapping motions with his arms. "I want to hear what Big Brother's got to say!" He stood to attention, concentrating hard on the disembodied voice like a rapt schoolboy. Kit and I laughed quietly and fell silent as Big Brother started to speak.

"_It is time for the next challenge_," said Big Brother. "_Successful completion of the task will determine the food budget for the next week. You will split into four teams, two teams of six and two teams of seven. Each team will pick a song from a musical of their choice and will choreograph a dance to be performed to the song. No two teams can perform the same song. Each team will appoint a Captain who will withdraw to the Diary Room to inform Big Brother of your choice. Performances will be at seven o'clock this evening just before the eviction party._"

"Oh dear," groaned Taker, shaking his head. "This is going to be embarrassing."

"Sweet!" cheered Kit, and grabbed Shawn and Hunter. "Be on my team!" I laughed, spotted Paul, and whistled for him to come over.

"Here, bitch!" I ordered.

"Don't call me bitch," he groused but came over obediently, Brian in tow.

"Room for a little one in your team?" asked Matt, appearing suddenly in my shoulder. "I don't want to be in a team with Jeff. He's a better dancer than me and he'll just show me up."

"Honey, we're all going to show you up," said Mickie, dragging John over with her. Her eyes roved the group as she counted heads. "That's six, this is our team!" she said joyfully and we immediately put our heads together to discuss musicals and which would be the most fun song to perform.

It didn't take long for the teams and songs to be established. On Kit's team were Shawn, Hunter, Jeff, Ashley and Torrie and they chose to do Summer Nights from Grease. The heels banded together, Lita, Edge, Randy, Nitro, Melina, Helms and Shane choosing to perform Disco Inferno from Saturday Night Fever. Taker, Kane, Batista, Candice, Carlito, Lillian and Trish chose to do All That Jazz from Chicago, and we chose Luck Be A Lady from Guys And Dolls.

The girls and I showered quickly, and then got down to the serious business of choreographing our performance. We decided after a couple of false starts where John managed to crash into and bruise everyone that he would take the role of Sky Masterson, meaning that he just had to gesture wildly and pose throughout most of the song while we danced around him. After lots of debate and in-team bickering we finally managed to get a product that we were happy with and even managed to perform the dance flawlessly once before time was up.

We cleared a space in the lounge for the dances to take place in, and Taker's team went first, with hilarious results. Much as they tried Taker and Kane just weren't suited to the type of sexy, smouldering dancing the song called for, but Candice put in a good performance as Velma. Lita's team went next, and much to my annoyance it was pretty good, but there was one hilarious moment where Melina lost her footing and fell on her ass, dragging Nitro down with her.

We went next and almost managed to do it right, although John stepped back at the wrong moment during the chorus and almost fell over Brian, who was behind him at the time. Finally, Kit's team went and even the heels couldn't find much to complain about. Kit took the role of Sandy and Jeff was Danny, and it was funny watching Shawn and Hunter cavort about as though they were teenagers, and even though we could mime the song if we wanted to, Kit chose to sing and sang it perfectly, sounding scarily like Olivia Newton-John.

After the performances were finished Big Brother announced that each team had been given marks out of ten, with each mark worth five dollars' worth of food. Taker's team were given six, Lita's team got eight, we also got eight, and Kit's team received the full ten points, which meant that we had a pretty good food budget, and Shane went around everyone asking if there was anything in particular we wanted, before disappearing off to the Diary Room to order the food. He came out with bottles of wine for the eviction party

Finally it was eviction time. I realised ten minutes before the results were due to be announced that I hadn't packed my stuff and ran around trying to stuff it all in my case, helped by Mickie and hindered by Matt and John.

"Finally!" I panted, red in the face from the mad panic as I flopped down onto the sofa next to Jeff with just two minutes to go before the results were announced.

"I got you some wine," he said, handing me a glass.

"Thanks," I gasped and knocked it back in one. I smiled up at Jeff, who was looking at me with one eyebrow raised.

"Easy, precious!" he said. "Don't go all alcoholic on me!"

"I was thirsty; it was chasing these two reprobates that did it!" I protested, gesturing at Matt and John, who had come out of the bedroom and sat down on the floor in front of us next to Brian and Paul. "They were stealing my bras!"

"But they were so pretty!" simpered John, fluttering his eyelashes. I laughed and nudged him in the chest with my foot.

"Besides, it was funny," laughed Matt. Jeff sighed and shook his head.

"You know, I'm supposed to be the irresponsible one, you're supposed to be the old, mature one," he gently reminded his brother.

"Pfft!" Matt pulled a face and waved away the comment. "Plenty of time for that later. I'm young, I'm free, and I want to have fun! Oh shit! Sorry, Kitten!" he gasped as he gestured wildly and knocked into Kit, spilling wine over her pants.

"You will be," she threatened with a glare. "Lucky for you vinyl cleans easily."

"Sorry. Sorry. I'll behave now," said Matt meekly and hung his head in shame, the grin on his face completely ruining the look.

"Ellister!" I braced myself for the impact as I heard Ashley's sing-song voice and the next second the girl had thrown herself at my back, pitching me forward. "I'm still not gonna let you leave," she said. "You're too much fun and if you go, who's going to help me, Mickie and Kit cause panic and destruction and help me plot my seduction of Batista?"

"Get Paul to do it?" I suggested. "He's my bitch."

"Or Brian, as he's my bitch," suggested Kit.

"Hey, since you girls are all my bitches, does that mean Brian and Paul are my bitches by default?" asked John.

"NO!" yelled Brian and Paul in unison.

"Since when are we your bitch, bitch?" demanded Kit fiercely.

"Hey, how come everyone's suddenly got a bitch?" demanded Jeff. "I want a bitch too!"

"You're too laid back to have a bitch," laughed Matt. "You're destined to be someone's bitch."

"Aw. I want a bitch!" Jeff pouted.

"I'll be your bitch!" offered Shawn.

"No, you're already my bitch," said Hunter.

"Hey… I thought you were my bitch!" said Shawn, a confused look on his face.

"Can we stop talking about bitches and be serious for a moment?" asked Torrie, appearing out of nowhere with Carlito in tow. "Ellister might get kicked out any second. Do you have any last words, babe?" I cleared my throat and got to my feet.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the Wild Bunch…" I began.

"We have a collective name? Sweet!" cheered Paul, hugging my legs.

"Oi! Get off!" I roared, kicking out at him. "Now as I was saying… Be mental and raise merry hell for me," I said quickly as Big Brother started to speak.

"_The votes are in and have been counted. The nominees leaving the Big Brother house tonight are…_" Again came the interminable wait for the names. I hated this part. My stomach clenched in knots and I held my breath and gripped hold of Ashley's hands. "_Lillian_." I didn't quite release the breath I was holding; I wasn't safe yet. "_And Kane. You have sixty seconds to say goodbye_."

"Aww!" I moaned as I shook myself free of Ashley's death grip and jumped up to hug Kane. "Bye, big brother of mine, see you back in the world!"

"Be good, try not to upset anyone too much, and no flirting," warned Kane with a stern look. "Make sure she behaves, bro," he added.

"I will." Taker nodded sagely. "Even if I have to chain her into the Diary Room."

"You wouldn't dare," I glared. "'Bye, Kane!" I added quickly as the doors started to open, pulled him down and kissed him on the top of his head.

"Remember, I'll be watching," Kane warned with a wicked smile and I rolled my eyes and pushed him towards the door.

"Alright folks, as you all know eviction time is party time," said Hunter, looking serious. "We have booze, we have friends around us, and we're the Wild Bunch, apparently. I think you all know what this means." He grinned evilly as we all looked blankly at him. "Who's up for a round or two of Truth or Dare?"


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: Hi guys! I apologise for the lack of updates and have several brilliant, brilliant excuses as to why it's taken so long in between chapters, okay?_

_1. My computer died. Windows decided to break down completely, and refused to play anymore. Dumb machine._

_2. My muse went on holiday. Tricky little bugger, he is. I swear, he goes AWOL for weeks at a time, leaving me without inspiration… damn you, Malachi!_

_3. With my muse missing I decided to go on holiday myself. The boyfriend and I spent a few days in York hunting down Romans and Vikings and ghosts and climbing over old ruins. It was wonderful. _

_4. I lost the notebook with all the notes for the next few chapters in. It's probably halfway up a set of ruined steps in York being read by long-dead Romans and Vikings and they'd better bloody well be enjoying it too! So if this chapter seems a bit rushed and a bit sketchy and a bit, well, crap, it's because I had to write from memory and my memory's about as good as a… not-very-good thing. _

_One final note before I sign off - I tend to use quotes a lot in my writing. Almost unconsciously I will reference or lift quotes wholesale from books, films, webcomics and TV shows, so if you see something you think you recognise… then you probably do. It's not intentional plagiarism, and when this fic's over I'll hunt through it and list everything I've ever lifted a quote, scenario or idea from. I'd do it now, but it's 3am, I have work in the morning, and I'm sure you all want me to cut the waffle and get on with the chapter. Once again thanks for the positive feedback, it means more to me than I can say! And sorry again for leaving it so long. It'll never happen again. I promise. _

_(ps... I might update faster if I had some sort of... encouragement --nudges people towards the review button--)_

_Kisses, _

_- Ellister_

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Truth or Dare was fun. Hunter had to wear a bra for an hour, Kit had to do a pole dance on one of the supports on the veranda, and Shawn had to sing everything he wanted to say for an hour. Carlito had to endure ice cubes being dropped down his pants until he begged us to stop after a mere five ice cubes. Mickie had to strip John, aided by Kit, Ashley and me, and then threw his clothes outside. He had to then go and fetch them and wasn't allowed back inside until he was fully dressed again. Ashley had to strip and cover herself with large lettuce leaves from the garden and remain like that for the rest of the game. Matt had to hold his breath for sixty seconds and when he failed was stripped down to his boxers and forced to remain like that for the rest of the game. Brian had to have makeup applied on him by a blindfolded Paul. Jeff had to give a hickey to Kit. Torrie had to be spanked by Carlito. Batista had to have his legs waxed. And I had to pretend I had finished with the game, sit with the boring sods who had decided not to play, and then pretend to be having a fit; Shane McMahon almost had a heart attack as he tried to help me, all the while whimpering that his dad was going to kill him for letting someone die on the show. Taker flatly refused to do any dares or answer any truth questions, preferring to remain with his arms folded and glaring at the rest of us for the duration of the game.

After that, nothing much happened for the next few days and we all got on with being bored again, although a 70's themed disco relieved the monotony a bit. I was sure that the sight of Shawn and Hunter doing all the moves from Saturday Night Fever would remain with me for the rest of my life, and the break dancing contest; Carlito, Shawn and Jeff were still at it when I went to bed around 2am and Carlito very grudgingly admitted defeat, mainly because Shawn refused to be beaten and started beating him with pillows when it looked like he was going to win.

By the time the third week rolled around I was almost eager to get voted out, and therefore was annoyed when I failed to get nominated three times in a row. Paul, Shane, Torrie, Taker, Candice, Carlito, Brian and Ashley had been voted out, and the strains of having been cooped up together for such a long time were starting to show. Everyone was bickering with each other so often that any time anyone said something nice it was a real shock, and after John yelled at Randy for putting too much sugar in his coffee and challenged him to a wrestling match, it became the norm to challenge someone for the slightest misdemeanour.

The house was becoming a war zone by this point. Edge and Lita held court on one side, with Melina and Nitro joining them, and on our side were me, Kit, Matt, Jeff, John, Hunter, Shawn, Batista and Mickie, with Trish, Helms and Randy caught in the middle. Randy was starting to spend more and more time around Edge however, an observation that caused John no end of concern, and with good reason; our lot reckoned that Edge was evil incarnate and corrupted everyone who was exposed to him for prolonged periods of time. He was getting increasingly nasty with his verbal attacks on me, and while Lita didn't actively encourage it she didn't do anything to stop it either, and I began harbouring a deep and burning resentment towards the pair of them, a feeling I was only too sure was reciprocated. I was trying to do as Matt suggested and rise above it, but it was only a matter of time before I disembowelled Edge with a wooden spoon.

Passions were also running high, and it was also surely only a matter of time before John and Mickie stopped hitting each other and started kissing. Batista was surly and sulky without Ashley around, and spent a lot of time complaining about this to Jeff, who was confused because Kit had taken to blanking him for prolonged periods. Kit's attraction to him had become glaringly obvious to everyone but him, especially when he started spending a lot of time in the pool, and she had adopted the usual 'ignore it and hope it goes away' strategy. Randy kept trying to put the moves on Trish, and her constant rejection just made him determined to try harder to win her heart. And I was becoming increasingly attracted to Matt, and was trying hard to fight the urge to just jump him right in the middle of the room; a task that was getting more and more difficult with Mickie trying to force the issue.

"I mean what's a girl to do?" I sighed wistfully, as me, Mickie and Kit sunned ourselves in the garden and watched Matt and Jeff try to push Hunter into the pool while Shawn splashed them all. "Do they have to spend all their time dripping wet? Do they have any idea what that does to a girl's hormones?"

"Of course they do, that's why they do it," replied Mickie with a grin.

"Bastards," muttered Kit distractedly from Mickie's other side.

"You two seriously just need to jump them, then it'll all be okay," Mickie said authoritatively. "Then all the sexual tension will just disappear and we can start planning weddings!"

"Speaking of jumping, when are you going to cut the crap and jump John?" asked Kit, a wicked grin spreading across her face.

"I wasn't talking about me," Mickie said quickly. "I was talking about you two."

"We're talking about you now, bird," I teased with a laugh. "Go on, Mickie. Jump John. Then we can start planning your wedding. I've always wanted a new hat."

"Hi, Jeff!" said Mickie hurriedly as Jeff wandered over, grinning like a fool and dripping wet. He stopped in front of us and shook himself, showering us with droplets.

"JEFF!" I yelled, aiming a kick at the younger Hardy. He dodged with ease and shook his head.

"You three looked hot. I thought I'd come and cool you off," he explained. "You okay, Kitten?" Kit had gone very still and silent, a blank look carefully plastered on her face. She jumped as Jeff poked her in the side and got to her feet hurriedly.

"Yeah, I, er, just need a drink… I'll be right back," she said distantly and hurried inside. Jeff folded his arms and stared after her.

"What have I done now?" he moaned. "Seriously, for the last three days she's not let me anywhere near her. I didn't get drunk and say anything inappropriate, did I?"

"No, dear. All you've done is be incredibly attractive," Mickie said.

"Huh?" asked Jeff and shook his head. "I don't know. You women are confusing. Why are you so confusing?"

"We can't make it easy for you, love, where's the fun in that?" I replied with a giggle.

"Well I'm going to corner her, maybe she'll talk to me then," sighed Jeff and went to follow her.

"It won't work. She'll lock herself in the bathroom or something. And if she can't do that she'll duct tape her mouth shut. She's a stubborn little minx," I said. "And it's no good you saying something like 'we'll force her to admit she's got a crush' because it won't work, trust me. I tried that once before. I still have the marks somewhere. She'll deny everything, then she'll get defensive, then she'll get angry. It's not pretty."

"Damn, and there goes my plan of locking them in a room together until they smooch," sighed Mickie. "I… hang on…" She narrowed her eyes dangerously as Melina got up to intercept Jeff. "This could be trouble. Let's go eavesdrop and then we can hit her if she gets nasty."

"What do you mean, if?" I snorted, got to my feet and followed her.

We found a handy spot just behind the pool wall. Hunter, Shawn and Matt regarded us suspiciously and immediately went into a huddle, but we ignored them. We had more important things to concentrate on right now.

"…Should never have come back," Melina was saying. "You're a washed-up loser, just like your brother."

"Oh dear," Mickie and I chorused as Jeff's eyes flashed dangerously. His hands twitched, like he was about to hit her, but just held himself in check and settled for folding his arms and assuming an expression of bored disinterest.

"You getting the belt was a fluke," Melina continued. "It belongs to Johnny, and I swear we will find some way to end you and make sure you never come back again."

"Can we hit her now?" I asked.

"No need, watch," said Mickie, indicating Kit, who had been watching the exchange with her eyes narrowed.

"Why don't you end someone your own size?" she interrupted, walking over. Melina whipped around and sneered at Kit.

"What, like you? It wouldn't be worth the effort," she said haughtily. "You'll never amount to anything if you hang around with losers and degenerates. All I have to do is sit back and watch your career implode."

"Ooh look, it knows big words, can it do tricks too?" said Kit sarcastically. Melina growled.

"You watch your mouth, Kitten, or…"

"Or you'll do what?" said Kit challengingly, holding Melina's gaze and sending her a death glare that was so intense I was surprised she didn't crumble into dust on the spot. Melina actually took a step back, before she shook her head and assumed an expression like she'd just trodden in something nasty.

"You'll see," she promised and swept away imperiously. Kit stretched lazily and popped her neck.

"Oh, yay. She hates me," she said conversationally, grinning at Jeff.

"Thanks for that," said Jeff sincerely. "I don't know how much longer I could have stood her prattle."

"Ooh they're talking again! Yay!" whispered Mickie excitedly as Kit and Jeff united in verbally bashing Melina.

"What's going on over here?" asked Matt, heaving himself out of the pool.

"Ssh!" Mickie flapped her hands agitatedly. "I'm trying to see if anything's happening between your brother and Kit!"

"Oh, they're talking again? Whoa-" Matt lost his footing on the slippery floor and went over, landing flat on his back. As he fell he grabbed hold of the nearest thing available to try to steady himself - which happened to be me, and I went tumbling down on top of him.

"OW!" we both chorused as we hit the ground.

"Damn woman, your bony ass hurts," grumbled Matt.

"It's your own damn fault," I muttered, slapping him over the head as his arms tightened around my waist. "Let me up and I'll promise not to kick you in the head."

"Never! I must have my revenge!" he growled dangerously in my ear, sending a shiver down my spine, before he brutally and mercilessly tickled me. I shrieked and kicked out of him before I managed to roll out of his grip.

"Get away, you beast!" I gasped breathlessly as he crawled over.

"I'm not done." He loomed over me, face set with dark purpose and intent, and I froze. I swear my heart almost stopped as I looked into those bottomless brown eyes, eyes that promised no mercy, just pain… With a great force of will I screwed my eyes shut and screamed.

"HUNTER!"

"All right, no need to get hasty," said Matt hurriedly, getting to his feet and backing away. "I was doing nothing," he protested as Hunter swam to the edge of the pool and glared at him.

"So you're stealing my big brother now?" laughed Kit as I got to my feet with a giggle.

"Yeah, mine's not here, I had to do something. Bastard was tickling me." I aimed a kick at Matt, who pouted. "Don't make me have to challenge you, Hardy."

"But I didn't do anything wrong!" he protested, fluttering his abnormally long eyelashes in a way that sent my heart fluttering and my stomach somersaulting. I raised an eyebrow and he sighed. "All right, how can I make it up to you, precious?"

"Make us a cuppa, there's a good lad." He nodded and wandered through into the kitchen. I watched him go and sighed softly to myself. "And you can wipe that shit-eating grin off your face, Mickie," I added without turning round.

"What?" I could hear the grin in her voice. "I was just thinking, you've got him trained well already. How whipped is he gonna be when you two get married?"

"Who's getting married?" asked Jeff.

"Elli and Matt!"

"No, we're not!" I squeezed my eyes shut with a groan. "Shut up, Mickie."

"I'll only shut up when you stop whining about wanting Matt and do something about it."

"Who wants Matt now?" asked Matt, coming back into the room with a mug of tea.

"No-one. Ignore her, she's being… well, Mickie," I suggested, accepting my tea from him with a small smile. "Thanks."

"No problem." Our eyes met and our gazes lingered for slightly too long. I licked my lips nervously and fought down the urge to kiss him as Mickie started sniggering. Matt looked like he was waging an internal battle too and with great reluctance I tore myself away and headed for the door.

"I'm going to go and have a lie down. Being around you lot is knackering," I said by way of explanation and headed to the bedroom, unable to get the thought of Matt's eyes out of my head.

However, I wasn't able to do as I'd originally planned, which was lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling in moody contemplation of affairs of the heart. Barely five seconds had passed before the door flew open and John and Randy barged in, bickering loudly about, of all things, Randy's missing mug.

"I know you've hidden it somewhere, John!" Randy roared. "This is the only place I haven't looked, it must be here!"

"For the last time, I haven't taken your stupid mug!" John rolled his eyes and slapped Randy around the head. I groaned and buried my head under the pillow as they continued arguing and Randy started turning things upside down as he searched for his mug.

"Oi, you two, take it somewhere else," I heard Kit snap, and gradually the sounds of warfare faded away as they left the room. I felt the bed dip as Kit climbed up and sat with her back resting against the foot board, her legs crossed. I removed the pillow from my face, sat up, and cuddled it to me.

"Men, hey?" sighed Kit.

"Men. Bloody men," I agreed, and we wasted a good few hours of the afternoon moaning about men and all of their flaws - and we had quite a sizeable list when we were done.

By late evening things had returned to normal, or about as normal as things ever got in the Big Brother house. Randy was sulking over by Edge, Lita was talking to Helms, and Melina and Nitro were plotting together and shooting Kit and Jeff venomous glances every now and then. It was a mild evening so we decided to sit out in the garden, and our there things were as raucous as ever; wine had been unearthed and we were loudly discussing our worst relationship and date disasters, with Shawn and Hunter acting out every scenario and making us laugh. As the hours wore on people started drifting off to bed and soon it was just me, Matt and Jeff left awake, and Jeff was flagging fast. Matt however still seemed to have loads of energy and I settled for leaning back against Jeff's legs and watching him speak.

"…And that's when he decided to buy the horse a prostitute!" Matt finished, a broad grin on his face. I stared at him for a moment, trying to work out if he was joking or not, before bursting into laughter. "Seriously, you just wait until you meet Shannon. He's insane."

"Yeah. He's like our very own pet mad scientist," said Jeff through a yawn. "He's even got a chemistry set in his basement. I'm too scared to go in there in case he's been playing with things men were not meant to wot of and has bent the space/time continuinuinuum," he added, another yawn stretching the word 'continuum' beyond reasonable constraint.

"To all hell, knowing Shannon," said Matt with a grin. "I swear things move in there at night."

"You're just trying to scare me off, aren't you?" I laughed.

"No, why would we do anything like that?" asked Jeff innocently, and yawned again. "All right. I'm going to bed. Be good, you two!" he added, shooting a stern look in our direction as he got up and went back inside.

"Don't know what he's talking about," said Matt, stealing the bottle from me and taking a long swig. "All right, we've talked about disastrous dates and petty pranks, what shall we talk about now?"

"Hmm." I got to my feet and looked up at the sky, mainly because I wanted to avoid looking at Matt. All through the evening Mickie had been trying to get us both to admit our attraction to each other, and all she'd succeeded in doing was reminding me of how attractive he was. "What's up there?" I asked, pointing upwards. Matt looked up, a look of confusion on his face.

"That's what we call the sky," he said slowly, as if talking to an idiot. "It's there to stop the stars falling on us and for something to keep planes in."

"You know what I mean." Through the haze that was Los Angeles at night, a few stars were defiantly shining in the face of the light pollution. "Aliens. Other planets. Other dimensions. Is there anything out there?"

"Lots of fuck all," suggested Matt. He got to his feet too and squinted up at the few stars that were visible. "It's amazing to think, isn't it, that the stars that make such pretty patterns are so far apart? You can't see them here, though. You've got to come to mine at some point. We get amazing night skies in Cameron. You can actually make out the constellations." He sighed reflectively and passed the bottle back to me. "It's a lot prettier than here. And me and Jeff, we've got a lot of land… Jeff's bit of land is full of art and stuff, but it's way cool. I told you about the motocross track, yeah? Yeah, you and Kit totally have to come and hang out at ours when we get some time off."

"Definitely." I agreed. We moved to sit on the bench right at the side of the veranda and I curled my legs underneath me and cradled the bottle to my chest.

"You know, I've talked a lot today about my home. Tell me about yours," Matt urged. "Tell me about Britain."

"Well…" I paused, not knowing where to begin. "My hometown is a seaside town that was built in the late 1800s. The county's It's got a great bloodthirsty history with smugglers and all that, and nowadays it's overrun by the young chavs who like drugs and sluts with their beer and old folk who stubbornly refuse to die. There's a football team, and once you get away from the main town, there's some beautiful places. The New Forest, Lulworth Cove…" I trailed off as a pang of homesickness hit me. "I haven't been back since I moved out here. We'll have to go and visit when we go to England. Dorset's beautiful. Not many sheep though," I added, and laughed.

"What?" Matt looked utterly confused.

"Oh, it's a private joke me and my mum used to have. We were off on holiday, and Dad was driving, and Mum said 'You don't get many sheep in Dorset,' and we turned a corner and there were hundreds of them on this hill!" I laughed again, and sighed. "I miss my mum. She died when I was twenty-one."

"I know." Matt wrapped his arms around my shoulders and hugged me tight. "If you need to talk…"

"I know. Thanks." I looked up at the sky again and we fell silent for a moment, each contemplating our own private thoughts. When we started to speak again there was a sense that a bridge had been crossed, and while we avoided anything that might bring up unpleasant memories or unwanted tears, there was the knowledge that we could talk about that kind of thing if we had a mind to, but just didn't want to at the moment.

After that we talked about anything and everything we could think of, from aliens to motorsport via the application of spoons in the takeover of a small German province. Matt warned me not to mention the Plan anywhere near Shannon because he might be tempted to try it out.

"It's like that time where he stole a tank and wanted to invade Paris," he said with a chuckle. "Me and Jeff talked him out of it in the end, but I think he still harbours a desire to rule over a small country."

"Who doesn't?" I said fairly. "And you've got to admit it, Archgeneralissimo Divine Ruler Shannon Moore does have quite a nice ring to it."

"Nah. I think Archgeneralissimo Divine Ruler Matt Hardy sounds better," Matt sniffed.

"You would," I teased, poking him. "Personally, I think Sir Matthew sounds better. You can be a knight in Shannon's court. Ladies love a man with a big lance, and there's always the chance to overthrow the Archgeneralissimo Divine Ruler with a carefully planned coup."

"You know, I never thought of it like that. I like your way of thinking, precious!" We laughed, and then fell silent again. Matt still had his arm around my shoulders and I had only just realised how comfortable it was, being snuggled up against him.

"Nicknames," Matt said slowly, squeezing my shoulders.

"Hmm?" I asked, craning my neck to look up at him.

"That's one thing we haven't talked about yet. Nicknames. What are yours?"

"Ellister's one," I replied, thinking hard. "Elspeth. 'Ell's Bells, that's my cousin's nickname for me. Oh, and Satan."

"Satan?" snorted Matt.

"Yeah, when I lived in a town called Reading, I was the spooky goth kid, you know? Always throwing the devil-horns in pictures. That was years ago."

"Satan. Why am I not surprised?" laughed Matt. I put on an innocent face and pouted and he laughed harder. "I like 'Ell's Bells though. I'll call you that from now on. That or 'precious', when I can't be bothered."

"You keep saying 'precious' you'll end up sounding like Gollum, and that's Edge's job," I sniggered. "So what are your nicknames then?"

"Nothing special really. I liked Black Velvet, because it makes me sound all mysterious like."

"It makes you sound like a bloody goth," I laughed.

"That too," he conceded with a grin. "And Jeff calls me 'Jimmy Legs', because I'm kinda bow-legged." He said the last part in a whisper, with the air of confiding a great secret.

"Jimmy Legs. Cute. Adorable, really," I laughed and we both fell silent again, and I began searching for a new topic of conversation, a task that was getting more difficult as I was quite tired now, and it really was extremely comfortable cuddled up to Matt like this...

"You know, I like you, precious," Matt said, breaking through the fog in my mind. "And I know you like me too. It's just…" He paused again and I wished he'd get to the point so I could doze off. Why he couldn't have brought this up earlier when we were both relatively sober and less tired, I don't know. Bloody men! "You need to give me a bit of time, okay? I need to be sure of this."

"Fine. I'll wait," I said, grinning as AFI's song 'Endlessly, She Said' started playing in my head. "I will wait for you, she said, endlessly. I will wait for you, so spoke misery," I sang, and Matt groaned and clamped his hand over my mouth.

"No! No singing! Singing from you is bad singing and hurts my head!" he grumbled, pulling my face closer to his. "Shut up before I make you shut up," he growled playfully, squeezing my cheeks.

"How are you gonna make me?" I said cheekily, poking my tongue out at him. Our eyes met and a jolt of electricity passed between us. Once more I felt the urge to kiss him and it seemed that he felt the same. He leaned in closer, his lips parted slightly, and I slowly closed my eyes, waiting for the impact…

"Are you two still up?" Matt and I yelled and sprang apart as Mickie's voice drilled through the romantic fairytale playing in my head.

"Mickie!" I moaned, massaging my chest. "Don't sneak up on people! You never know what they could be doing!"

"It seemed pretty obvious to me," she said, a wicked gleam in her eye. "I got up to get a drink," she added, almost daring us to mention the pink pyjamas and the tousled hair. "And I saw you guys and thought I'd come and see what you were up to."

"We were being good," said Matt. Mickie snorted sceptically and shook her head.

"Believe that if you like. I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm too tired to stick my nose in right now, but rest assured I'll wake you both tomorrow and demand details. Early." She turned around and walked back into the house and I shook my head.

"Hurricane Mickie strikes again," I muttered, and stretched. "You know, it is dawn," I added, only really noticing for the first time that it was starting to get light. "Maybe we should go to bed too."

"Yeah, alright. There's no wine left anyway." Matt grunted as he got to his feet and swayed slightly. "Whoo! Yeah, I think I need sleep for definite. Come here, I need you. For balance," he added hurriedly as he slipped his arm around my shoulders.

"Drunk?" I laughed.

"Too drunk to walk but not drunk enough to not know what I'm doing," laughed Matt.

"Well don't rely on me too much, I'm drunk too and ow, you're heavy! Don't-" I was going to say 'Don't put all your weight on me' but my protest was cut off by Matt falling on me and knocking me onto the sofa. "Ow," I added, the sound slightly muffled as I was buried between the back cushions and Matt.

"We'll sleep here, Matt decided, shifting position so that I had a little more room to breathe. "Can't get up. Too heavy. You okay with sleeping here?"

"I guess I'll have to be, I'm a bit stuck," I giggled, and lay my head down on Matt's chest. I closed my eyes as he cuddled me close and was just about to drift off when he called my name.

"Ells?"

"Hmm?" I murmured sleepily.

"I was wondering if, when this nonsense is over, if you would, you know… dinner, and stuff?" he mumbled just as sleepily.

"You asking me on a date?" I asked.

"Trying to, yeah. Brain and mouth… not working together," he added lamely. I laughed.

"Sure. But I pick the restaurant."

"Of course. Wouldn't expect anything else." He squeezed me and planted a kiss on the top of my head. "'Night, 'Ells Bells."

"'Night, Jimmy Legs." I snuggled down and closed my eyes, letting the sound of his breathing and his heart beating wash over me like a lullaby, and within moments he started to snore softly. The sound was oddly soothing and I wasn't long in following him into sleep.


End file.
